Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.
A Taliban suicide bomber rammed a vehicle loaded with explosives into an armored NATO bus Saturday on a busy thoroughfare in Kabul, killing 17 people, including a dozen Americans, in the deadliest strike against the U.S.-led coalition in the Afghan capital since the war began. He apparently was supposed to strike a target 2 blocks away but crashed while tweeting this, " @Iblowmyselfand_u_up: Heading to th"
Presidential candidate, Herman Cain is having his past come back to haunt him. Sexual harassment claims from two women dating back from the late 90's have resurfaced during the height of his push for the Republican nomination. He was quoted saying, "I have never ever sexually harassed anyone." A source who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us here at WSCB that he later told them, "I didn't lie because I never sexually harassed them b*tches. I f*cked the sh*t out of them is what I did."
A drunken and naked driver damaged 12 cars in central Moscow on Sunday. The city police said they started pursuing the man after he ignored a road sign banning a turn and refused orders to stop. In the ensuing chase, the motorist nearly hit a school bus, rammed through a police vehicle and smashed several other cars before being caught. There's no need for a punch line due to this being an actual story committed by an actual dumb ass.
From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
A Few Things
Who likes that Chef Boyardee shit?? Well I shouldn't say "shit" because I definitely bang with the ravoli!! Buuuut, ravoli is a legit dish from the motherland. Italy that is. I know soooomebody scratched their head like, "Ravoli comes from Africa?! I bet it's Kenya, they have good food from what I hear!!" Yes, if you were the head scratcher just stop reading now. Oh, you're still here? Just going to be disrespectful huh? That's cool, that's cool. Hmph. ADHDNESSNESS!! Ha!! I said it before y'all could!! Daaaaah! Run tell it!! Run tell iiiiiit! Oh yea, where were we? Yes, I said "we" because you're reading it so we're in it together. Yea who eats Beefaroni? Chef Boyardee has that shit, but that can't be a dish from the motherland. Italy remember, not Africa. If you took a vacay in Italy and you sat down at a small little restaurant and ordered that shit, a chef might fuck you up! Come out the kitchen with an apron on and a butcher knife in hand trying to slice & dice your ass!! Shit, Olive Garden people might give you work. Either that or they have some fancy ass name for it that throw you off. You're looking at the menu like, "Oooooh that sounds tasty!!" Server comes out with your shit, and you got the long division in your head face like, "Motherfucker this is beefaroni!!!" Server-"Would you like me to take it back?" You-"Umm naw, it's ok." Soon as they walk away, you're like, "Maaaaan!! Beefaroni is my shiiiiit!!! I need some hot sauce!!"
Nope, no segue. I'm on segue strike. Just going to stop and go. Not going to force it on myself like a fat person eating that last piece of sausage. No homo. **THUNDER ROLL**..€€€¥¥¥££££..**LIGHTNING CRASHES** It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's Wayman Archibald IV!! "Heeeeey there boy!!" AAAAAHHHHH!! It's Wayman!! Lock your ass and RUUUUUNNNN!!! Speaking of running, wait, did I just, naw, shit yea I think I did, but just naw, well whatever. Running, exercise whatever, I just want to inform those who are husky, buffalo back, chunky, nutritional overachiever or whatever you use to make ya fat ass feel good. When you start losing weight at a rapid pace because you've become serious about your diet & workout plan, people will tell you that you look good, buuuut when you leave, niggas don't think you're getting in shape. "Damn are they sick? Maybe they have cancer. They've been doing a lot of those 'Find a Cure,' 5K races, so maybe since they're sick they want to help find some shit out before they die. Maybe they got the die-a-bee-tees!!"
**ROMEO-ALPHA-NOVEMBER-DELTA-OSCAR-MIKE-NESSNESS** You ever been in traffic so long you make friends or enemies but they don't know it. The shit they do can make or break that bond you may develop along your course, your path, your destination, your detour your your ok yea I ran out of shit to use. Anywaaaaaay, they can do the dumb shit like random braking while they're nowhere near the car in front of them. You're in the car like, "That motherfucker keeps braking!! I bet they're on the phone! I bet they're on that fucking phone!! Get a blue tooth naaagga!!!" I just hate when they change lanes like 13 times in a 2 mile stretch. Motherfatherness, we're in traffic and we're going like 15mph, where are you going?! It could be like 5 miles you're like I HATE that son of a baaatch!! Or if you had a good time with them, but that's usually when you are moving. It's weird because you remember something about their vehicles. Color, dents, nicknames you gave them or by their tags. Be in the car talking some, "KBR119 yo!!! That's my partner right there!! Let's go!!!" Then you could see the non-blue tooth haver, "Man, random braking ass yo!!!!!" It's funny though when you see someone with dents and shit that's a traffic fuck up because you turn into one of your parents. "Yea, I see why your ass has all them damn dents. Non driving ass."
Monday, September 26, 2011
Scoob News
Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.
Aisha Gadhafi, daughter of Moammar Gadhafi, gave an audio address on Friday about the former Libyan strong man who went into hiding after Tripoli fell last month. She had this to say, "I assure you, he is fine, a believer in God, in good spirits, is carrying his gun and is fighting side by side with the warriors." Moammar Gadhafi was spotted in a Taco Bell located in Arlington, Texas this past Sunday.
Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah, considered a reformer by the standards of his ultraconservative kingdom, decreed on Sunday that women will, for the first time, have the right to vote and run in local elections due in 2015. Feminist reformers are still fighting for other rights such as driving and traveling. Traveling could possibly be granted but driving will most likely not be allowed due to the fact that women can not perform fellatio while driving.
Endurance athlete Diana Nyad ended her swimming ultramarathon from Cuba to Florida on Sunday after medics warned another painful sting from a Portuguese Man o' War could be life-threatening, Nyad team members said. Nyad, 62, called it a "huge disappointment." However, 79 year old,Consuela Hernandez tired of oppression from the Cuban dictatorship made the swim in 9hrs 39 min. She was arrested on the beaches of Florida and flown back to Cuba immediately.
From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.
Aisha Gadhafi, daughter of Moammar Gadhafi, gave an audio address on Friday about the former Libyan strong man who went into hiding after Tripoli fell last month. She had this to say, "I assure you, he is fine, a believer in God, in good spirits, is carrying his gun and is fighting side by side with the warriors." Moammar Gadhafi was spotted in a Taco Bell located in Arlington, Texas this past Sunday.
Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah, considered a reformer by the standards of his ultraconservative kingdom, decreed on Sunday that women will, for the first time, have the right to vote and run in local elections due in 2015. Feminist reformers are still fighting for other rights such as driving and traveling. Traveling could possibly be granted but driving will most likely not be allowed due to the fact that women can not perform fellatio while driving.
Endurance athlete Diana Nyad ended her swimming ultramarathon from Cuba to Florida on Sunday after medics warned another painful sting from a Portuguese Man o' War could be life-threatening, Nyad team members said. Nyad, 62, called it a "huge disappointment." However, 79 year old,Consuela Hernandez tired of oppression from the Cuban dictatorship made the swim in 9hrs 39 min. She was arrested on the beaches of Florida and flown back to Cuba immediately.
From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Scoob News
Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.
Bill Gates tops Forbes' list of the 400 richest Americans for the 18th year in a row. The magazine said Wednesday that the Microsoft co-founder and philanthropist's wealth amounts $59 billion, ranking him ahead of all the other billionaires who make up this year's list. Upon the announcement Bill Gates' twitter was updated immediately saying this, "@BillionDollarBill_Gate$: Forbes' Richest, I did it on 'em...again. #flexin"
Yemeni forces on Wednesday fired mortars at tens of thousands of mourners at funerals held for slain protesters and attacked an opposition base, killing at least 16 people and shattering a cease-fire negotiated a day earlier to end the nation's latest bout of violence. Despite the extra lose of lives some families found peace of mind knowing that they could bury another family member at the same time to cut costs. One grave, one coffin but two people.
Troy Davis, who was convicted of killing off-duty police officer Mark MacPhail in 1989, was executed by the state of Georgia on 21 September 2011. His execution was scheduled for 7pm EST, but did not actually happen until 11:08pm EST. When a judge was asked if the delay was some part of a possible appeal on his behalf, he had this to say, "Oh, it was nothing like that at all. For those who were not exactly sure of what 'CP time' was, we were helping to make that abundantly clear." For those who are not exactly sure, "CP" time which stands for "colored people," refers to the fact that African Americans are typically known for being late to things.
From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.
Bill Gates tops Forbes' list of the 400 richest Americans for the 18th year in a row. The magazine said Wednesday that the Microsoft co-founder and philanthropist's wealth amounts $59 billion, ranking him ahead of all the other billionaires who make up this year's list. Upon the announcement Bill Gates' twitter was updated immediately saying this, "@BillionDollarBill_Gate$: Forbes' Richest, I did it on 'em...again. #flexin"
Yemeni forces on Wednesday fired mortars at tens of thousands of mourners at funerals held for slain protesters and attacked an opposition base, killing at least 16 people and shattering a cease-fire negotiated a day earlier to end the nation's latest bout of violence. Despite the extra lose of lives some families found peace of mind knowing that they could bury another family member at the same time to cut costs. One grave, one coffin but two people.
Troy Davis, who was convicted of killing off-duty police officer Mark MacPhail in 1989, was executed by the state of Georgia on 21 September 2011. His execution was scheduled for 7pm EST, but did not actually happen until 11:08pm EST. When a judge was asked if the delay was some part of a possible appeal on his behalf, he had this to say, "Oh, it was nothing like that at all. For those who were not exactly sure of what 'CP time' was, we were helping to make that abundantly clear." For those who are not exactly sure, "CP" time which stands for "colored people," refers to the fact that African Americans are typically known for being late to things.
From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Scoob News
Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.
An 11th person has died from injuries suffered in a plane crash that marked the nation's deadliest air racing disaster, Reno police said Tuesday. Police spokeswoman Michele Anderson said the victim had not been identified. All races are supposedly going to be banned. All air performances will be done by paper planes. Eye protection is required.
Seven scientists and experts went on trial on manslaughter charges Tuesday for allegedly failing to sufficiently warn residents before a 2009 earthquake that killed more than 300 people in central Italy. The case is being closely watched by seismologists, who insist it's impossible to predict earthquakes. The scientists and experts claim when they left Post It notes on their computer monitors before they and their families fled the area, that it would be sufficient enough notice.
$16, was the cost of each muffin bought by the Justice Department for a 2009 conference, according to an internal audit, which said many purchases showed "wasteful or extravagant spending," including the $4,200 for 250 muffins. WSCB is holding a bake sale outside of Capitol Hill Thursday, September 22nd. Cupcakes & muffins will be $15.95 and supplies are limited.
From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.
An 11th person has died from injuries suffered in a plane crash that marked the nation's deadliest air racing disaster, Reno police said Tuesday. Police spokeswoman Michele Anderson said the victim had not been identified. All races are supposedly going to be banned. All air performances will be done by paper planes. Eye protection is required.
Seven scientists and experts went on trial on manslaughter charges Tuesday for allegedly failing to sufficiently warn residents before a 2009 earthquake that killed more than 300 people in central Italy. The case is being closely watched by seismologists, who insist it's impossible to predict earthquakes. The scientists and experts claim when they left Post It notes on their computer monitors before they and their families fled the area, that it would be sufficient enough notice.
$16, was the cost of each muffin bought by the Justice Department for a 2009 conference, according to an internal audit, which said many purchases showed "wasteful or extravagant spending," including the $4,200 for 250 muffins. WSCB is holding a bake sale outside of Capitol Hill Thursday, September 22nd. Cupcakes & muffins will be $15.95 and supplies are limited.
From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
A Few Things...
Ladies, ladies, laaaaadies. *waves* Chello come in, sit down and shut the hell up. Yea, I said it!! What you want to fight me now?! Let your next move be your best move sister soldier!! Daniel wasn't the only one Mr. Miyagi trained!! KIIIIIAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Yea, like I was saying before the shorty in the front row, yes you don't turn around, interrupted our intelligentness convo. Wait, are y'all going to blame the ADHDNESSNESS on that mishap?! I get no love!! Anyway LADIES, not front row yo, I need y'all to stop asking dudes if they can cook. That convo goes no where because if he says, "yes" you're going to say, "No you can't!," -OR- "Ok, what can you make?" If he says spaghetti, just look at your phone and say you got to go, because you're just going to shit on him. If you want to know, tell dude you like to cook, and if he likes slanging pots & pans he'll tell you. "Oh really?! Me too!! I saw this recipe that called for spinach and sausage!! I loooove sausage!! No homo." **THUNDER ROLL**..€€€¥¥¥££££..**LIGHTNING CRASHES** It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's Wayman Archibald IV!! "Heeeeey there boy!!" AAAAAHHHHH!!
Running into Wayman would be like a bad dream. Why do people say "bad dream" instead of "nightmare" anyway? Shit isn't PC if you think about it. Anyone, peep my segue though? Shit was smooth too. Unsmooth moment, I just passed gas and the FeBreeze turned into FeBitch!! How does the spray come out of the can, and go right back in once it got a whiff?! See that's that bullshit because I had to suffer alone!! What? No I'm not crying!! The gasnessness made my eyes water damn it!! Ok, maybe there was some ADHDNESSNESS in there. Just a sprinkle though. Anyway, has anyone ever had a dream that makes you late? Like that dream that seems like you hit the snooze button, then got up to start getting ready for your day after the alarm goes off again?? So, it was just me? It's happened to me a few times, so it can happen to maybe at least 6 or 4 of y'all? Hmph. Man, I regret even telling y'all now because y'all watch Care Bears and go to sleep and dream about clouds, rainbows, and um um cotton candy and shit!! Forget y'all!!
***RANDY-to-the-ANDY-DOM-NESSNESS***: I saw this chick via facebook whom I hadn't seen in yeaaaaars, and I denied the friend request she sent. **TIMEOUT**: Since I've signed up for facebook, I can literally count on both hands regarding how many friend requests I've sent. Am I too good to? Nope. Ok maybe I am, but I just don't see the point if I don't intend to always speak to them. That's why I don't holla at chicks when I'm out & about. I don't want to know about your personality!! Those biscuits got my attention!! Oh shit, my bad.**TIME IN** Zack Morris never left his people stuck in a "TIME OUT" situation like that. Ummm err ahh, yea I scrolled up to find the premise of the "RANDY-to-the-ANDY-DOM-NESSNESS" again. Yea, but after I denied her she sent me an inbox message like, "Damn!! It's like that now?!" Her page was private so I couldn't really tell who she was from her default. All I saw was one of those "Malazia Gotherownbread Wakinesha" type bullshitnesses. So, she tells me her real name, and no I didn't ask about that s/n because I might of gotten mad. I was in pure disbelief. Ok, I know some of the ladies put on some weight after a kid or 3, but she had NONE!! Almost asked about how all that weight got put on though. "Naw, fuck the reason for that dumb ass s/n, how did you put on 123lbs?!" Breaking in the zoo and eating bears or something. To make a long story, short, which I didn't do, I wanted to pipe her back in the day and never said anything. And naturally what did she tell me?!? She wanted it too back in the day, BUT she was still trying to see what was up with it. NOT A MOTHERFATHERING THING!! BOOOOWWWWROOOORRROOWWWW!!! I let her down easy though. I changed the subject. Daaaaaah.
Running into Wayman would be like a bad dream. Why do people say "bad dream" instead of "nightmare" anyway? Shit isn't PC if you think about it. Anyone, peep my segue though? Shit was smooth too. Unsmooth moment, I just passed gas and the FeBreeze turned into FeBitch!! How does the spray come out of the can, and go right back in once it got a whiff?! See that's that bullshit because I had to suffer alone!! What? No I'm not crying!! The gasnessness made my eyes water damn it!! Ok, maybe there was some ADHDNESSNESS in there. Just a sprinkle though. Anyway, has anyone ever had a dream that makes you late? Like that dream that seems like you hit the snooze button, then got up to start getting ready for your day after the alarm goes off again?? So, it was just me? It's happened to me a few times, so it can happen to maybe at least 6 or 4 of y'all? Hmph. Man, I regret even telling y'all now because y'all watch Care Bears and go to sleep and dream about clouds, rainbows, and um um cotton candy and shit!! Forget y'all!!
***RANDY-to-the-ANDY-DOM-NESSNESS***: I saw this chick via facebook whom I hadn't seen in yeaaaaars, and I denied the friend request she sent. **TIMEOUT**: Since I've signed up for facebook, I can literally count on both hands regarding how many friend requests I've sent. Am I too good to? Nope. Ok maybe I am, but I just don't see the point if I don't intend to always speak to them. That's why I don't holla at chicks when I'm out & about. I don't want to know about your personality!! Those biscuits got my attention!! Oh shit, my bad.**TIME IN** Zack Morris never left his people stuck in a "TIME OUT" situation like that. Ummm err ahh, yea I scrolled up to find the premise of the "RANDY-to-the-ANDY-DOM-NESSNESS" again. Yea, but after I denied her she sent me an inbox message like, "Damn!! It's like that now?!" Her page was private so I couldn't really tell who she was from her default. All I saw was one of those "Malazia Gotherownbread Wakinesha" type bullshitnesses. So, she tells me her real name, and no I didn't ask about that s/n because I might of gotten mad. I was in pure disbelief. Ok, I know some of the ladies put on some weight after a kid or 3, but she had NONE!! Almost asked about how all that weight got put on though. "Naw, fuck the reason for that dumb ass s/n, how did you put on 123lbs?!" Breaking in the zoo and eating bears or something. To make a long story, short, which I didn't do, I wanted to pipe her back in the day and never said anything. And naturally what did she tell me?!? She wanted it too back in the day, BUT she was still trying to see what was up with it. NOT A MOTHERFATHERING THING!! BOOOOWWWWROOOORRROOWWWW!!! I let her down easy though. I changed the subject. Daaaaaah.
Scoob News
Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.
Armed men from Congo burst into a pub in the tiny African nation of Burundi and killed 36 people, an official said Monday. Burundi, still reeling from a civil war that killed more than 250,000 people, is awash in weapons, but attacks like the one Sunday night are rare. The armed men were believed to be angry over threats involving a large bar tab.
Union leaders said Monday they reached a tentative deal with some of Southern California's largest grocery chains that would head off the threat of a strike by more than 60,000 workers. The deal, which must be approved by the union's membership, protects workers' health policies, United Food and Commercial Workers Local 324 president Fred Conger said. "We were successful in bargaining an agreement that grocery workers can be proud of," Conger said. If a deal cannot be reached they will bring in 5,000 Mexicans to replace the 60,000 striking workers to do double the work for half the price.
When Wendy's decided to remake it's 42-year old-hamburger, the chain agonized over every detail. Project Gold Hamburger took more than two years, and on Monday the chain rolled out Dave's Hot 'N Juicy. The burger features extra cheese, a thicker beef patty, a buttered bun, red onions and crinkled pickles. It will also cause a heart attack in two thirds the amount of time it usually takes to cause one. That's what we here at WSCB call "fast food."
From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.
Armed men from Congo burst into a pub in the tiny African nation of Burundi and killed 36 people, an official said Monday. Burundi, still reeling from a civil war that killed more than 250,000 people, is awash in weapons, but attacks like the one Sunday night are rare. The armed men were believed to be angry over threats involving a large bar tab.
Union leaders said Monday they reached a tentative deal with some of Southern California's largest grocery chains that would head off the threat of a strike by more than 60,000 workers. The deal, which must be approved by the union's membership, protects workers' health policies, United Food and Commercial Workers Local 324 president Fred Conger said. "We were successful in bargaining an agreement that grocery workers can be proud of," Conger said. If a deal cannot be reached they will bring in 5,000 Mexicans to replace the 60,000 striking workers to do double the work for half the price.
When Wendy's decided to remake it's 42-year old-hamburger, the chain agonized over every detail. Project Gold Hamburger took more than two years, and on Monday the chain rolled out Dave's Hot 'N Juicy. The burger features extra cheese, a thicker beef patty, a buttered bun, red onions and crinkled pickles. It will also cause a heart attack in two thirds the amount of time it usually takes to cause one. That's what we here at WSCB call "fast food."
From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.
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