Scoob News

Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.


Former president Pervez Musharraf said on Sunday he would return to Pakistan this month and prepare for elections, which could add to the country's turmoil. His first challenge may be to avoid arrest: On Saturday, prosecutors said they planned to detain the former army chief on charges he failed to provide security for ex-prime minister Benazir Bhutto before she was killed in 2008. He was overheard saying, "I bet if she blue balled them they way she blue balled me, then they would of let that d*ck tease die too!"

Russian police on Sunday said an 18-month-old child was swept into the sewage system when a sidewalk collapsed due to a ruptured pipe. The mother was pushing a stroller in the city of Bryansk when the ground caved in. The woman was rescued, but the child was swept away and presumed dead. The mother told reporters from our Russian sister station, VDKA, that it smelt like the baby's diapers so she wasn't jumping in. She was later seen at a club that night.


The Obama administration said Friday it is expanding the FBI's more-than-80-year-old definition of rape to count men as victims and drop the requirement that victims must have physically resisted. Lawmakers use such statistics in allocating money and resources. Pres. Obama was overheard saying, "Uh, if he got the wood, uh, then uh it doesn't exactly mean he wanted the goods."

From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.

Scoob News

Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.


Gov. Chris Gregoire publicly supported legalizing same-sex marriage in Washington state, saying Wednesday that she came to the decision after several years of battling her own uncertainty on the issue and announcing a legalization bill will be introduced next week. It's rumored that she had several lesbians perform oral sex on her in which she immediately brought up the bill's need to be legalized.


According to officials in Afghanistan's Baghlan province, 15-year old Sahar Gul's in-laws kept her in a basement for six months, ripped her fingernails out, tortured her with hot irons and broke her fingers--all in an attempt to force her into prostitution. Police freed her after her uncle called authorities. A warrant was issued for her husband for serves in the Afghan army. He supposedly told his family to get her on the streets since she was too young to get a real job. The in-laws cited that broken fingers don't mean you can't perform oral sex.


Brownsville police say the weapon a Texas eighth grader pointed an officers at Cummings Middle School before they killed him was a pellet gun that looked like a real handgun. Interim Brownsville Police Chief Orlando Rodriguez says 15-year-old Jaime Gonzalez had "plenty of opportunities" to lower the weapon. We here at WSCB have no punch line for this story because of it's hilarious nature, however Jaime has been posthumously awarded the "Dumb Ass Yo Award." Along with the award comes the plaque that says, "Wit' Yo Dumb Ass!!"


From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.


Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my Blac

Scoob News

Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV

A second woman has been charged in the bleach and Pine-Sol fight in a Baltimore County Wal-mart in the fall. Ebony Odoms, 27, has been indicted on charges of first-degree assault, reckless endangerment and destruction of property in connection with the Oct. 8 that caused 19 people to be taken to area hospitals due to chemical fumes. On a brighter note, the first woman charged in the fight, Theresa Monique Jefferson, has been offered a mgmt. position by several local janitorial companies due to her extensive knowledge of cleaning products.

Hundreds of people protesting the doubling of fuel prices after a government subsidy was ended blocked roads in Nigeria's commercial capital of Lagos, burned tires, forced gas stations to close and hijacked buses Tuesday. Protests also occurred in Kano in the north, the Niger Delta in the southeast and in Ilorin in the west, where Nigerian Labor Congress party officials said one man was shot to death. It's believed that it took 27 people to chip in to buy one gallon of gas, that was used to start the tire fires.

An Army Green Beret member facing charges in Texas that he tried to bring explosives onto a civilian aircraft over the weekend had been involved in a similar incident, federal officials said Tuesday. Sgt. Trey Scott Atwater, 30, was briefly detained Dec. 24 at the airport in Fayetteville, N.C., where he was flying to Texas. Screeners found and confiscated a military smoke grenade in his bag. He was admonished but allowed to continue his trip, the complaint states. Sgt. Atwater was overheard saying, "I bought the shit because they take forever with my drinks. This would put some pep in their step!!"

From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.

Scoob News

Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.

Verizon Wireless on Friday dropped a plan to start charging $2 for every payment subscribers make over the phone or online with their credit or debit cards. In a statement Friday, the company said "customer feedback" prompted the decision to drop the "convenience fee" it wanted to introduce on Jan. 15. It's estimated that 73% of the "customer feedback" comments simply said, "F*ck y'all!! I'll just go suffer with Sprint for all this sh*t!"

The chief Palestinian negotiator said Monday that his first meeting with Israelis in more than a year will be a last ditch effort to salvage the peace process and warned that the Palestinians would explore alternatives if no progress is made. Tuesday's meeting will be the first since September 2010. The aforementioned "alternatives" were rumored to be AK-47 bullets to the ass.

Iran test-fired a surface-to-surface cruise missile Monday in a drill its navy chief said proved Tehran was in complete control of the strategic Strait of Hormuz, the passage-way for one-sixth of the world's oil supply. There also have been conflicting comments from Iranian officials over Tehran's intentions to close the Strait of Hormuz and U.S. warnings against such an ominous move. Israeli Defense Minister Ehud Barak said the Iranian exercises was a show of strength intended "to deter the world from continuing sanctions against it." Our contact from the CIA who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us here at WSCB that the Iranians only had that one missile they fired due to the others still being on Christmas layaway.

From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.

Scoob News

Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.

A fire at a California home care facility for the disabled has killed four adults and left two others hospitalized, authorities said Sunday. The fire was reported at about 11:45p.m. Saturday in Marina, a small coastal community in Monterey County, about 100 miles south of San Francisco. Apparently, the four adults had their left wheelchair brake on, so they kept rolling in small circles to the left.


Forty-five Chinese coal miners trapped by a cave-in were rescued Saturday. Eight miners were killed in the cave-in at the mine in the city of Samenxia in Henan province, in Central China. Seven miners were rescued Friday. China's coal mines are the deadliest in the world. It is reported that the miners were secretly trying to see if they dug straight down that they would end up in the United States. Their attempt was unsuccessful.



Greek Prime Minister George Papandreou will meet Monday with the leader of the country's main opposition party to discuss who will become the nation's next prime minister. The meeting comes a day after President Karolos Papoulias announced that Papandreou will step down amid the country's financial crisis -- as long as a controversial 130 billion euro bailout deal is approved. If the deal is not approved Greece will reportedly have a gyro & kabob sale. We have been sent a copy of their menu:
One lamb gyro -$120 million.
Two lamb gyro's-$230 million.
One kabob & gyro platter-$500 million. *Served with rice for an additional $6 million


From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.

Scoob News

Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.

A Taliban suicide bomber rammed a vehicle loaded with explosives into an armored NATO bus Saturday on a busy thoroughfare in Kabul, killing 17 people, including a dozen Americans, in the deadliest strike against the U.S.-led coalition in the Afghan capital since the war began. He apparently was supposed to strike a target 2 blocks away but crashed while tweeting this, " @Iblowmyselfand_u_up: Heading to th"


Presidential candidate, Herman Cain is having his past come back to haunt him. Sexual harassment claims from two women dating back from the late 90's have resurfaced during the height of his push for the Republican nomination. He was quoted saying, "I have never ever sexually harassed anyone." A source who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us here at WSCB that he later told them, "I didn't lie because I never sexually harassed them b*tches. I f*cked the sh*t out of them is what I did."




A drunken and naked driver damaged 12 cars in central Moscow on Sunday. The city police said they started pursuing the man after he ignored a road sign banning a turn and refused orders to stop. In the ensuing chase, the motorist nearly hit a school bus, rammed through a police vehicle and smashed several other cars before being caught. There's no need for a punch line due to this being an actual story committed by an actual dumb ass.


From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.

A Few Things

Who likes that Chef Boyardee shit?? Well I shouldn't say "shit" because I definitely bang with the ravoli!! Buuuut, ravoli is a legit dish from the motherland. Italy that is. I know soooomebody scratched their head like, "Ravoli comes from Africa?! I bet it's Kenya, they have good food from what I hear!!" Yes, if you were the head scratcher just stop reading now. Oh, you're still here? Just going to be disrespectful huh? That's cool, that's cool. Hmph. ADHDNESSNESS!! Ha!! I said it before y'all could!! Daaaaah! Run tell it!! Run tell iiiiiit! Oh yea, where were we? Yes, I said "we" because you're reading it so we're in it together. Yea who eats Beefaroni? Chef Boyardee has that shit, but that can't be a dish from the motherland. Italy remember, not Africa. If you took a vacay in Italy and you sat down at a small little restaurant and ordered that shit, a chef might fuck you up! Come out the kitchen with an apron on and a butcher knife in hand trying to slice & dice your ass!! Shit, Olive Garden people might give you work. Either that or they have some fancy ass name for it that throw you off. You're looking at the menu like, "Oooooh that sounds tasty!!" Server comes out with your shit, and you got the long division in your head face like, "Motherfucker this is beefaroni!!!" Server-"Would you like me to take it back?" You-"Umm naw, it's ok." Soon as they walk away, you're like, "Maaaaan!! Beefaroni is my shiiiiit!!! I need some hot sauce!!"

Nope, no segue. I'm on segue strike. Just going to stop and go. Not going to force it on myself like a fat person eating that last piece of sausage. No homo. **THUNDER ROLL**..€€€¥¥¥££££..**LIGHTNING CRASHES** It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's Wayman Archibald IV!! "Heeeeey there boy!!" AAAAAHHHHH!! It's Wayman!! Lock your ass and RUUUUUNNNN!!! Speaking of running, wait, did I just, naw, shit yea I think I did, but just naw, well whatever. Running, exercise whatever, I just want to inform those who are husky, buffalo back, chunky, nutritional overachiever or whatever you use to make ya fat ass feel good. When you start losing weight at a rapid pace because you've become serious about your diet & workout plan, people will tell you that you look good, buuuut when you leave, niggas don't think you're getting in shape. "Damn are they sick? Maybe they have cancer. They've been doing a lot of those 'Find a Cure,' 5K races, so maybe since they're sick they want to help find some shit out before they die. Maybe they got the die-a-bee-tees!!"

**ROMEO-ALPHA-NOVEMBER-DELTA-OSCAR-MIKE-NESSNESS** You ever been in traffic so long you make friends or enemies but they don't know it. The shit they do can make or break that bond you may develop along your course, your path, your destination, your detour your your ok yea I ran out of shit to use. Anywaaaaaay, they can do the dumb shit like random braking while they're nowhere near the car in front of them. You're in the car like, "That motherfucker keeps braking!! I bet they're on the phone! I bet they're on that fucking phone!! Get a blue tooth naaagga!!!" I just hate when they change lanes like 13 times in a 2 mile stretch. Motherfatherness, we're in traffic and we're going like 15mph, where are you going?! It could be like 5 miles you're like I HATE that son of a baaatch!! Or if you had a good time with them, but that's usually when you are moving. It's weird because you remember something about their vehicles. Color, dents, nicknames you gave them or by their tags. Be in the car talking some, "KBR119 yo!!! That's my partner right there!! Let's go!!!" Then you could see the non-blue tooth haver, "Man, random braking ass yo!!!!!" It's funny though when you see someone with dents and shit that's a traffic fuck up because you turn into one of your parents. "Yea, I see why your ass has all them damn dents. Non driving ass."