Thursday, September 28, 2017

Scoob News

Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.


Playboy founder and legendary ladies man Hugh Hefner has passed away at the age of 91. The magazine said he was surrounded by loved ones and “peacefully passed away...from natural causes at his home." An orgy will be held immediately following the funeral.



At a press briefing yesterday afternoon, U.S. President Donald Trump attempted to explain why Sudan was not included in the latest version of his travel ban, which restricts entry to America for nationals of eight countries. A White House rep who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us here at WSCB that Trump said, "Sudan reminded him of the word 'SEDAN,' and if people buy cars made in America it would help make his campaign slogan about making America great again seem somewhat true."


Less than 48 hours removed from Republicans admitting defeat on their last, best chance to repeal & replace the Affordable Care Act, the President spent much of yesterday arguing that the votes are there to pass the legislation. He was quoted saying "We have the votes for health care." A source who also spoke on the condition of anonymity told us here at WSCB that Trump was overheard saying to an aide, "I technically didn't have enough votes to win the Presidential election and you see how that went!!"



From the folks at WSCB have a great evening and stay hydrated.