11/2

1) It's the World Series. Everyone knows that 3 strikes you're out. That's exactly what this shorty did who is a caterer. She was accidentally tipped $29,387 when it was supposed to be $29.87 She made 3 calls to the place to tell them of the error, but never got a call back. Sooooo shorty said, them mess up.cool. Me keep money. Bong. So the place ended up suing her ass. Yo has to pay $50 a month for the next 28yrs. Yea, in case you pulled out your add-jew-ma-lay-ter I'm sure you saw that its less than $29,387. The judge who ruled the case hooked shorty up a little bit. Sure most of y'all wouldn't of called at all.

2) Since I'm talking about money, lol. How would you feel if you came out of a restaurant and you had some trouble getting your car started, but there was a man that was a mechanic that could help you depending on the severity of the issue for between $40-200. You'd feel lucky right? Well, how about this guy was outside of a restaurant doing that shit. Fucking up cars and hitting people with the "Oh I'm a mechanic, I can help." At least he was serious about his craft. Daaaaaaah.

3) I got ass whippings. At least 3 a day. I was just in to shit I shouldn't have been. You know little boys are knuckle heads. My parents were strict too. Built me to be the man I am today. With that said, anyone here about the guy that hit his daughter with the car? He's an Iraqi immigrant that said his 20yr old daughter was becoming "too Westernized" so he hit shorty and her boyfriend's mother with his jeep!! They're in the hospital still after being hit 10/20. Angry ass yo...

4) I know everyone is worried about swine flu, H1N1, whatever you want to call it. They have the vaccine and shit that everyone is giving head just to get. You do know they made that shit in 5 months right? You get that bitch injected through your nose too? Umm eerr aaaaah. Lol. Not to scare anyone buuuut I heard in 1976 when there was a mass vaccination for a different swine flu and there reports of a rare paralyzing condition called Guillain-Barre syndrome. I'm going to take my chances w/o that vaccine. Lol

10/29

Before you all gang up on me for not doing one of these in a minute, let me apologize first. Damn. Evil bastards. I just haven't been in the mood, but I'm back. Depending on the response I get from this, there may be more to come....

1) Well I heard that Costco's was the latest bulk food warehouse to accept food stamps. So that's Sams, BJs, and Costco's that are on board now. They did this to compete with other stores since 36 million Americans are on food stamps. What I'm really getting at is, who's taking me shopping?

2) Since we're talking about big numbers. I'm sure everyone knows who Bernie Madoff is and about his Ponzi scheme. If you don't know about it you can either Google it or go play in traffic. I digress, to the fact that the victims of the scheme have been paid out $534 million dollars. If this is a recession and everyone is broke, where's the money coming from? Can a brother just get like $7,500? Bernie Madoff stole my piggy bank when I was 5yrs old. At 6% over 23yrs, someone owes my ass something!!

3) I know everyone is raging about Wal-mart selling coffins now, but just be thankful you can only do it online. I know I'm happy because I'm that guy that gets salty when a motherfucka has 13 items in the 10 items or less line. Couldn't imagine myself behind a nigga with a coffin. With my luck, they would of gotten one with no price, need a price check done on it,and no manager around.

4) Yo, how would you feel if your loved one ordered a coffin? They're an only child, parents died 12yrs ago, and you're in top physical condition. You'd be watching your back like shit probably. Sleeping with one eye open. Not trusting their cooking and shit. Wal-mart done started some shit!

5)Coffins!! Oh shit, in London, that's in England for the slow class. They said they're running out of space in their graveyards, so they're about to get funky. They will be doubling up grave sites. Yes the loved one you buried 6yrs ago will now have a complete stranger buried on top of them. Just curious how the tombstones will be done...hmmm..??

6) Well, Russia is popular for AK-47's and vodka. Apparently, the HIV infections over there have doubled in the last 8yrs. They pretty much said "fuck it!!" To the abstinence program. Hmm, guess Jamie Foxx's "Blame it" doesn't get any love over there...."You didn't wear a rubber? I had too much vodka!!"

WALK WITH ME THROUGH HOLLYWOOD...

What's good family? I was being pestered to get back on here and deliver something. They must of forgot that I don't work for Domino's. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, a friend and I were discussing movies and I mentioned that I needed to write something on my thought process while I watch movies. So with that being said....please keep your arms and legs inside at all times.

1. BOYZ IN THE HOOD. Great movie, buuuuuuuuuuuut, remember when Ricky and Trey were running from the guys trying to kill them. They split up and Ricky had that damn scratch off. When they left the store he said, that "you have to be Mexican to win this shit." So, he was running for his life yet, scratching off that damn ticket and carrying the cornmeal that his baby mom's asked him to go get so she could make that fish. He got killed while scratching it off. Was the scratch off ticket a winner? Did his baby mother ever make the fish? Trey was riding around with Doughboy that night looking for Ricky's killer. When he got out of the car did he possibly circle back to the crime scene looking for the ticket? Did the cops go to the scene at all? No body was there, just a lot of blood, so what would be the reason to show up? Just saying. Just saying.

2. THE GOONIES. If you didn't like THE GOONIES, then I suggest you stop reading now. I digress but, remember at the end of the movie when the Fratelli's held them up and made them pull out all the jewels and what not? They had some jewels left over to save the day. What was the value on some rubies and emeralds back then? I think there was a diamond or two in the mix but, really how much did they owe forreal? They just always spoke on how they needed money to save their neighborhood. Maybe I am over analyzing, but I'm justy saying. Just saying.



To be continued...

A LITTLE SALTY...

What's good family?

I usually try and steer clear of race issues but, they find me. Lol. Imagine there was a rap concert for a defunct rap group, let's say Wu-tang, that did a reunion show in NYC. I guarantee that if there was a drug bust at that concert then it would be all over the news. Well, apparently that did happen at a concert not too long ago. The group named "Phish" had a reunion concert Hampton, VA and police confiscated about $1.2 million dollars worth of illegal drugs from concert goers and 194 people were arrested.

$1,200,000/194 people=$6,185.57 per person. Now that would just be the average, so with all those drugs at a predominately white concert why didn't we hear about that? You know know over a certain amount they get you with "possession w/ intent to distribute" so I was just curious as to why I didn't see anything about people being sought on "kingpin charges".

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

MY HIV/AIDS EXPERIENCE

What's good people? I know yall read the title like, "awww shit, what is his dumb ass bout to do now.?!?!" But, I was just saying wassup to all the HIV Negative people out there. But, do you know if u are? They say 1 out of 3 who has it, dont know they do.
I saw a commercial about HIV earlier it reminded me of a funny story. Well funny to me. Fuck yall. Lol.
When I was at Morgan State they had the free HIV testing. So I was a young male smut at the time, so me and my boys were like heeeeey why not...Better to know and spread the HIV around then spread it unknowingly..Lol..Just playing. But yea...we took the test whatever. Buuuuuut, because of the volume of people taking it...we had to wait like 2 days. The lady was like yall can come see on friday. My office is in such and such building...room such and such. So we were like Coo'.

That's when shit gets reaaaaaaaaaal. You think bout eeeeveryone u ever had sex with. You could be a virgin and you would get nervous. You would start forgetting about all that "cant catch it through casual contact" shit in a heaaaaaartbeat!! You think bout the time u gave ya spare change to a homeless man and you touched his hand. All that shit comes into play. You think about all the chicks u boned. U get to saying to yourself.."Like, I know shorty like that, but she looked clean". Lol. You go crazy. U really dont sleep...You get to checking all the sympton charts out and shit. White spots in my mouth? All up in the mirror. All that shit.

Friday rolls around...and we saw the lady walking to her office...she had her lunch in her hand...we cornered her ass like AIIIGHT WHATS GOOD WITH THOSE RESULTS?!!? Like some real Suge Knight type shit. RUN THEM RESULTS!! RUN'EM BITCH!! .....So she has about 10 stacks...maybe 20 pieces of paper per stack. She was like "If your papers arent here...then it doesnt mean you are infected, it's just that we had to send it out for some further testing." So, we're like aight cool...she starts going through her stacks and stacks...one by one...my boys...get their shit....like shit was funny when they had their shit..and she was on the 7th stack and my paper didnt pop up yet....like theeeeey were laughing, but im like haha aawww damn...imma kill me a bitch!! So shorty gets to the laaaaaast stack...by this time...i have bitten all my fingernails off...sweating out of pores I didnt know existed...I was like MY EARS SWEAT? ...I digress....Shorty gets to the LAST piece of paper in the LAST STACK!!! I have never exhaled so deeply...I think I almost collapsed a lung when I got the news...A brother was like wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

eeeeew!!! Lol, But as you see I'm here...still alive and well...SINGLE & DISEASE FREE!!

Oh yea...the moral of the story is..."Always put more syrup on the bottom pancake opposed to the top" Lol. But, in all seriousness, be careful for me aight...

3/10/2009

1) What's good family? When you read the word "family" do you think of the past? Like Charles Darwin type family and past. Lol. *Side note*, if you don't know who Charles Darwin is you should go play in traffic. Anyway, over in a zoo not too far from Stockholm there was a 31 year old chimp, Santino, that carefully planned out some shit. Before the zoo opened this bastard started walking around his enclosure collecting rocks and putting them in a nice little pile. So midday comes and you know how people just looooooove to go see the monkey's in the zoo, ol' Santino goes to his pile and started chucking rocks at the humans. Yo only hit a few people but, it was the simple fact that he planned ahead for it. "Tired of all these people coming to look at me!! I got something for their asses!!" The scientists were pumped because it shows primates are able to simulate certain situations and plan for them. Wild huh.

2) Oh shit!! Speaking of "planning ahead" I hope you all heard of this 51 year old woman from Cali? Her ass shall be planning for jail son!!! Lol. This heffa was a bookkeeper for a this company and she embezzled $9.9 million dollars from the company, which by the way caused 400 people to be laid off. Imagine if you were one of those people...1...2....3...Did you imagine? Ok, I assume you are a little salty but, wait until I tell you what this bitch had done with some of the money. *Ahem* $240,000 spent on 400 pairs of shoes..............$300,00

0 spent on designer clothing.....160 purses costing $2,000 a piece. She had a bedroom in her house remodeled to be a CLOSET, in which she had a chandelier and a 32" flat screen TV. They need to take MTV Cribs off the air!! Lol. She is in the San Diego County Jail being held on $10 Million bail.

3) JAIL!!! OK I was going to save this one for last but, transition, segue, etc started eating at me. Anyway, down in Florida this duuuuuuuuumb ass bastard was caught BREAKING BACK INTO JAIL!! Apparently, this dick head broke a door then climbed over a fence. I'm pretty sure you are sitting there like," Ok he got out!! Why did he go back?!" He went to a local store not too far away then STOLE some cigarettes!! The guards noticed the broken door and went looking for the inmate throughout the jail. They caught his ass breaking back in with 14 packs of cigarettes. 20 fogs to a pack x 14 packs=280 fogs. I hope he wasn't trying to be the man in the bing or getting some face for fogs. Yo, had a "Face for Fogs Foundation"...lol Anyway, he has 2 more charges added to his sheet. Breaking out of jail and stealing. I can only hold my head low in shame.

4) Anybody hear that 9-1-1 tape of the woman calling the police on her 14yr old son?!?! She was like,"I need someone to come get this boy!! He is extremely disrespectful, he won't listen to me, won't take out the garbage, and his grades are bad!! I am calling you now because if I have to call again about him you will be coming here for a 187!!" That's retarded!! For those not in "the know" of what a "187" call is that's the police's code for a homicide. Granted my parents were on that mantra of "I brought you in, I'll take you out" they didn't have to call the police. Shit, as a child I would have preferred jail. "Please officer, take me to jail!! Just don't take me home!!" Where has the respect gone? *Rhetorical so please don't attempt to answer* My sister, Gia, and I would joke around to our parents like,"beat us and we'll call 9-1-1!" and parents would say,"we'll save you the trouble, you won't have to call, we will take you down to the station and whip your ass there!" Fucked our joke all up. Lol.

3/9/2009

1) HIIIIYYOOO!! What's good ladies, gentlemen, thugs, thugettes, and those with identity crisis's? "Identify" is an interesting word that different people doing different types of jobs use. I don't know if you know this but, we almost died last week. Lol. Apparently this asteroid that was like 154ft in diameter missed Earth last Monday by 48,800 miles. When the scientists saw it in early February they identified that it wouldn't pose a threat. Damn all that!! Can brother get a little heads up to know that I might die. Damn.

2) I'm not too sure of the state but, I think it happened in Montana or some shit. Anyway, there was an elderly woman on a bus and when the bus driver and another passenger helped her off she was in danger. Her old ass was in the middle of the street not paying attention so the bus driver sprints off the bus, pushes her out of the way and got hit by the car that was about to hit her. When the cops showed up to the hospital the bus driver thought he was going to get some type of award but, was handed a ticket for jay walking. Ain't that a bitch!

3) Since I'm talking about bitches and police, I knooooooow y'all heard about the woman in Florida who called 9-1-1 while in McDonald's?! For those who haven't, shorty ordered that 10 piece nugget meal, paid, then was told they were out of nuggets. She told them nevermind and she wanted her money back. They said all sales were final and they could substitute the nuggets with something else, she wasn't having it. Shorty got erratic in the store and then called the police. She was told to leave and then received a citation for "misuse of 9-1-1". Daaaaaamn!!

4) For all those who gave up something for Lent such as red meat or chicken nuggets. Lol. In all serious though, how about really giving something up like, texting? The Roman Catholic dioceses called a ban on texting every Friday during Lent. How many of y'all would take that suffering? Lol.

3/3/2009

1) Ladies, gentlemen, and children of all ages, I welcome you!! Been a minute since I did this so bear with me. It's like sex so I will get on it. Oh yea, "sex"...the guy in Russia who died of a heart attack after taking a whoooooole bottle of Viagra!! Two females bet him $4300 that he couldn't pipe them for 12hrs!! I have some issues with this. Isn't Viagra a prescription drug? Don't they say if you experience an erection longer than 4hrs then seek medical attention? So yo took 40 pills!! Bet you it was an open casket.


2) The Viagra issue about that long ass erection, no pun intended, is weird. Do they have a hotline? Lol. You know a man would NOT go to the ER talking about he popped that blue diamond and can't get rid of his wood. He would try and make up an excuse and shit. "Well my family doctor prescribed it for my hypertension because I don't need that all!!" Lol.


3) Sex. Sex. Sex. It's an attention word. "Free" is also an attention word but, I digress, do you know that one out of four teenage girls in the US has an STD. That is some wild shit considering one out of four people in the US are obese.
Math wasn't my strong suit so I might be wrong but, doesn't that mean one out of four people that is a teenage girl in the US is obese w/ an STD?? If she's eager to go out to eat and give you some ass be very careful, please!!

4) Being careful is always important. Now, with that being said did anyone hear about the guy who pleaded "not guilty" to that murder he committed last summer on a Greyhound bus?? Dude stabbed another man, beheaded him, theeeeen ate yo. There were thirty-six or so other passengers on this bus. I know we are an apathetic ass society but god damn!! How you look over at a human being STABBING then EATING another human being and you just change the song on your iPod. The man said, "God told me to do it." Ummmm I went to Catholic school and granted I'm not the most religious person anymore but if God wanted someone deaded he sent some shit for that person. There wasn't hired hit man. He told people to do some other stuff i.e. Noah, Moses, etc etc. Lol. Schizophrenic they say. Should of got some fig newtons if you were hungry brother.


That is all.

1/7/09

1) Que pasa mi amigos? What's happening all my fans, my players, my coaches, my GM's, and my agents? Oh shit ,"agents", tell me y'all heard about that real estate broker out in Chicago?! We all know there is a recession and the real estate market suuuuucks right now. Well yo worked for one of the biggest real estate firms in Chicago, so he had big money. Why did they find him Monday in his Jaguar?? Yes, he definitely killed himself and he was only fifty-two years old!! White people get in a little bit of trouble and say, "Fuck it!! My kids will get my trust fund when I die!!" and just commit suicide. Lol.


2) Hard times out there for everyone I tell ya. Outside of Philly there was a man living in a house's attic. Nothing weird about that right? Well, the house had a family that lived there. Lol. Yo broke in the house, and definitely was living upstairs. Like Brah' Man from Martin except he was live in. Lol. Tell me why he got caught on some, heading back up to the attic after getting some food. Lol. The mom and daughter were like, "He's wearing our clothes!!" Yo had on some sweats from the daughter and the wife's T-shirt. Luckily he was white, living in a white household because, yo would of got some hot ones put in his ass.


3) Oh damn, hot ones in the ass!! I'm hoping all of you are aware of the Gaza/Israeli jump-off. Around 688 Palestinians have been killed since December 27th, and damn near half of them were civilians. How about airplanes were flying above dropping leaflets that pretty much said, "MAD DOG IS A COMING!! I SAY MAD DOG IS A COMING!!" Can I get someone rolling through with a tank and a megaphone? I got to go outside where people are shooting and launching rockets to get a god damn leaflet telling me NOT to come outside. Lol.



4) You know what some desperate shit is? That woman in Florida who said that her 3 month old baby or some shit had been kidnapped. Come to find out that she never had a baby, shit, she was never even pregnant!! She did all that shit to get back a guy!! Yo left her, so she wanted yo back. Called 9-1-1 to report a kidnapping. She told dude his child was kidnapped. She had a baby picture of a out of town relative or some shit. Dude did man up though, he got salty like, "Why didn't you tell me you had a kid?!" but, he was by her side on the news asking for help. Pleading so he can see the child he never saw. Well, she got found out, now yo deeeeeeefinitely isn't fucking with her. Oh yea, she has been brought up on charges of "filing a false police report." Daaaah.
*autotune on* YOUUUUU LOOOOOSE!!

5) Speaking of dumb, I used to think dolphins were smart. That is until I read an article saying that the 16 bottlenose dolphins that swam up to a New Jersey river have either died or disappeared. Have you ever been to Jersey? They do call it "Dirty Jerz" for a reason. I don't even like the smell of Jersey. Textile plants out the ass, lol, just take me to Atlantic City and get me inside a casino.
I'm not getting in that water maaaaan!! Lol

1/6/09

1) What's good people with afro's, fades, regulars, perms, twists, dreads, and weaves. All races are included in that list of do's. Lol. But, speaking of races I was listening to the VP of my job have a phone convo. Lol. Yo was talking about skiing and shit. Just laughing his ass off, eventhough everything he said was so corny. Lol. Then, he mentioned something about his cousin and it hit me. That's something you rarely hear white people speak about, is their cousins. Weird thing is, every time I hear them mention their cousins they're old as shit. On some shit like," Yes, I'm going to meet my cousin that's like 60 for the first time while I'm going to my grandma's!" Lol.


2) Most people hit their family member's houses for the holidays and eat like crazy. Then the new year pops up and people want to make resolutions to lose weight. Damn shame that people even waste their time like that. Knowing damn well they started talking that "I'm gonna get sexy for the summer" shit. February comes and they start eating chocolates and shit. All downhill from there with cookouts and shit. Lol. They end up working out like the month of January and they might do a last minute attempt around May to get back on their "ready for summer" shit. Can I get some ready for ANY season?! Lol. 1 out of 4 Americans is obese. That's a 2008 statistic too, so you people better get to jogging or go get a Wii Fit. Lol.


3)Oh damn I just remembered something I heard the other day. This shit really truly hurt my heart. Lol. Did you know that 10 people per week are hospitalized while using the Wii Fit? Now you know if you are uncoordinated but, uncoordinated aaaaand out of shape. That's just a recipe for disaster. If you fuck your shit up PRETENDING to be exercising then maybe you just need to stay fat. Lol. Just eat chocolate covered donuts while power walking. Just hustle backwards. Lol.


4) Since I mentioned the word "backwards" I forgot to ask y'all about the co-worker I think is confused and gay. Did I ever tell y'all about him? Granted he is married and has a kid on the way, which by the way I swear is not his, but so was Cary Grant. That's another story for another day though. Lol. Anyway, its just little shit he says and does. Like the movie "Top Gun", which is one of my favorite movies. There is a part where the main characters are playing some beach volleyball and co-worker yo was like, "Man, Top Gun was a good movie but the thing that got me was the volleyball scene. It was cool that they were out playing volleyball with their shirts off and there was nothing gay about it. Just a bunch of guys having fun and sweating." I had that "did someone fart" face on. He always talks about losing weight. He flipped it to when he goes to the gym he sees these guys muscles and shit. Theeeeeen he started talking about how cool it is a bunch of guys at the gym can shower together without it being gay. Back to the "did someone fart" face.

TO THE IGNORANT RAVENS FANS...

STOP....

If you are NOT an "ignorant Ravens fan" this bulletin does not apply to you.

WAIT...

If you aren't sure what an "ignorant Ravens fan" is exactly.
Let's look at the word "ignorant" first off.
IGNORANT:(ig'no-rant) a.
having or showing little or no knowledge. So, yes I am about to address the "fair weather" ass fans who were not around last year. They were around for the 13-3 year but, I didn't see them last season. I know a shitload of Ravens fans. And the ones I know are the ones who still watched, still defended, and still talked shit about the Ravens.*Shouts out to Buck, Dino, Maine,Styves, Mike Love, Marcus P, Jizzle.* Hey 5-11 gives you 5 shit talking sessions over sooooooomebody. Lol. I digress, I bring up this bulletin because I am hearing the aforementioned "fair weather" fans popping up complaining about the NFL's pick for Defensive Player of the Year.
Those not in the know James Harrison of the Pittsburgh Steelers won the award today , Demarcus Ware of the Dallas Cowboys finishing 2nd in the voting. They are saying that Ed Reed should of won the award.


Real football fans will not complain about it.
I have been watching Ed since he was at THE U so, I definitely know what the boy is capable of. But, would he have gotten 9 regular season picks without the defense putting pressure on QB's like they have? Real fans know the answer.


So for the dumb asses out there I am going to assist ya ass out.


James Harrison had 101 tackles...16 sacks...7 forced fumbles....1 interceptions

DeMarcus Ware had 84 tackles...20 sacks...6 forced fumbles....0 interceptions

Ed Reed had.......41 tackles...1 sack...1 forced fumble....9 interceptions.


Keep in mind 3 players had more sacks than James Harrison did. But, look at his contributions to his team. That's all I am asking.

GO...

Learn how to be a good football fan. I don't mind the Ravens at all. Just can't stand the ignorance. Real fans of the Ravens need to check the fuck ups. Because if a "non-fan" says something then they are hating. Lol. I greatly appreciate it.
Lol



WOOOO SAAAAAAAAAH!!

And if you got a problem with what I said, hit my inbox and we can talk football. Otherwise,
eat a dick. Lol



That is all.

1/5/09

1) HAPPY NEW YEARS old ho's, new ho's, males and females contemplating being a ho!! Yes, being a "ho" is for any sex. Lol. What comes to mind when I say "bigger balls"? How about "he's really stepped by grabbing some big balls" ? Lol. Granted I'm totally against saying "no homo" but, what if sportscasters said that shit? Lol. "When he takes it deep he really loves hitting his tight end. No homo." What would you do? Lol. Imagine John Madden saying that bullshit. "Then he took it deep. Boom! No homo.
"

2) Oh shit. Speaking of "homo" do you remember the site I posted talking about "singles with STD's"? Yes I asked the question wondering if they bone raw. Lol Two people with herpes boning with a condom. Lol. Anyway has anyone seen the ad's for "gay/PR marketing"? They're online but they mention getting your gay focused product out to the gay community. I know they have gay chat lines and shit but, gay marketing assistance? Like what? Vaseline? KY? Q-tips? Speedo's? Just wondering. Lol.


3) My homegirl works at a bar/restaurant. She was at work yesterday working a Christian Singles mixer. I was trying to get her to put some alcohol in their drinks. Lol. But, I have noticed Christian singles websites and shit. So, my thing is, what do they do? Just wondering like they go out on a few dates. After that 3rd date, "So, do you want to come inside for a little while?" Dude is like "Well, I suppose I can for a little while." All the while he's thinking like * yes!! I'm going to get some snuzz!! That Christian site paid off!!* They get upstairs and shorty is like "Make yourself comfortable on the couch, I will be right back" He's on the couch checking to see if his deodorant is still fresh, remembering if he took his drawers out the hamper or got on a clean pair. Just ready for some possible action. She yells out from the other room "I am so happy you decided to come up. I was wondering if you were going to be ready. I had to wait for atleast the 3rd date to try this." He is trying to play it cool like, "it's ok I'm a patient man." Probably quoting the Bible real quick. She's like "Mmm that's real good to know. Especially for what I have in mind." She comes out the bedroom with a 5,000 piece jigsaw puzzle and shit. Lol.
Juuuuuust mad!!

4) Speaking of being "mad", you know how you get mad when the weatherman fucks up? Sitting out like "They didn't say shit about no damn rain!!" They can fuck up all the time. Like you get a random one to two day fuck up grace period on any other job right. Well I say that to say this, Abraham Lincoln was assassinated on April 15th, 1865. Do you know what day the Secret Service was founded? April 15th, 1865. Lol. Talk about a first day fuck up!! Naw, they didn't start protecting the presidents until 1901. Thirty-six years later and shit. They were sitting around talking about old shit at work and Abe came up. Someone like,"Daaaaamn they shot the president!! Someone should protect them with their life!" Supervisor was like "Oh ok, you start tonight son!!" Lol. The "suggestion box" was probably started that day too. Lol. Don't let everyone know you were the one that fucked it up for everyone else. Lol.



5)Oh man. When I said fucking it up for everyone else. That little lullaby song, "Rock a bye baby"? Da hell? What's reaaaaally good with that song? Why is the baby in the tree? "When the bow breaks the cradle will fall. Down comes baby, cradle and all."That's comforting? Booooy I tell ya. Lol. Just going to let it fall yo? How are you at the bottom like,"Man I would of caught little Bobby but, that cradle was coming down too. I might of got hit.
" Lol