1/7/09

1) Que pasa mi amigos? What's happening all my fans, my players, my coaches, my GM's, and my agents? Oh shit ,"agents", tell me y'all heard about that real estate broker out in Chicago?! We all know there is a recession and the real estate market suuuuucks right now. Well yo worked for one of the biggest real estate firms in Chicago, so he had big money. Why did they find him Monday in his Jaguar?? Yes, he definitely killed himself and he was only fifty-two years old!! White people get in a little bit of trouble and say, "Fuck it!! My kids will get my trust fund when I die!!" and just commit suicide. Lol.


2) Hard times out there for everyone I tell ya. Outside of Philly there was a man living in a house's attic. Nothing weird about that right? Well, the house had a family that lived there. Lol. Yo broke in the house, and definitely was living upstairs. Like Brah' Man from Martin except he was live in. Lol. Tell me why he got caught on some, heading back up to the attic after getting some food. Lol. The mom and daughter were like, "He's wearing our clothes!!" Yo had on some sweats from the daughter and the wife's T-shirt. Luckily he was white, living in a white household because, yo would of got some hot ones put in his ass.


3) Oh damn, hot ones in the ass!! I'm hoping all of you are aware of the Gaza/Israeli jump-off. Around 688 Palestinians have been killed since December 27th, and damn near half of them were civilians. How about airplanes were flying above dropping leaflets that pretty much said, "MAD DOG IS A COMING!! I SAY MAD DOG IS A COMING!!" Can I get someone rolling through with a tank and a megaphone? I got to go outside where people are shooting and launching rockets to get a god damn leaflet telling me NOT to come outside. Lol.



4) You know what some desperate shit is? That woman in Florida who said that her 3 month old baby or some shit had been kidnapped. Come to find out that she never had a baby, shit, she was never even pregnant!! She did all that shit to get back a guy!! Yo left her, so she wanted yo back. Called 9-1-1 to report a kidnapping. She told dude his child was kidnapped. She had a baby picture of a out of town relative or some shit. Dude did man up though, he got salty like, "Why didn't you tell me you had a kid?!" but, he was by her side on the news asking for help. Pleading so he can see the child he never saw. Well, she got found out, now yo deeeeeeefinitely isn't fucking with her. Oh yea, she has been brought up on charges of "filing a false police report." Daaaah.
*autotune on* YOUUUUU LOOOOOSE!!

5) Speaking of dumb, I used to think dolphins were smart. That is until I read an article saying that the 16 bottlenose dolphins that swam up to a New Jersey river have either died or disappeared. Have you ever been to Jersey? They do call it "Dirty Jerz" for a reason. I don't even like the smell of Jersey. Textile plants out the ass, lol, just take me to Atlantic City and get me inside a casino.
I'm not getting in that water maaaaan!! Lol