A Few Things...

I know y'all already think I have mental issuenesses, so I'm not going to try and prove y'all wrong. I'm a pretty decent actor but out of the 8 x 4y ÷ 6x + R(2+ -6) people on my Facebook friends list I actually know a lot of them, so they would know its a front. I bet y'all thought I was going to try and make up some random ass equation again didn't you? Well if you did, you were correct. I was going to do one, but I said "NO!," then was going to copy & paste and delete some shit, but then I said, "NO!"


Speaking of the word "NO." Do I have to mention the segueness? I guess I just did. "You like that shit? You like that shit lil bitch."<--- strong="strong">(A sample of what Wesley Pipes' script looks like.) Anyway, when we really need something, the word "NO" isn't something we want to hear. Especially when it comes to a loan, sex, money, sex or just sex. There are non verbal "NO's" that exist too. You know the head shake, but when we're in the car our non verbal "NO" is a STOP sign or a RED LIGHT. Now, since you were thinking about sex and I was talking about driving, I'll tell you about a little game I play when I'm in traffic, which happens to be M-F from 7am-8am & 5pm-6pm. I call it "Larry Legend's Loving Libido License" plate game. I actually don't call it that, but alliteration felt right at the moment. I actually don't have a name for it. I just do the shit. Now for example, if I see a car with the tag "BWP 136," which is rare these days, but it could be personalized or it could random. I'll then try and to make it as perverted as possible. "BWP 136" could possibly be BIG WET PUSSY with a possible body count of a 136. Always go for the "ness" in that game. What "ness" you ask?? The "pervertednessness."

I had segueness once already, so we shall move on. We started, stopped and we're now starting again. Kind of like people who don't like dancing in public. They're the "in the house in front of the mirror dancers." Wallflowers at dances but are Soul Train dancers at home. Its funny if you ever see 'em doing a little two step when they thought no one was around. They'll do a little spin and that's when y'all lock eyes. Now, they normally finish whatever they were doing and roll out. Most people don't say anything to them, but fuck that. I ask some questions because they might have some secret life or just could be a good dancer. "So, what was that?  Practicing your routine for later tonight? You and your friends going on ABDC?" They aren't getting off that easy with me!! Not on my watch!! Well I say that because sometimes my windshield wipers remind me of the "in the house in front of the mirror dancers." You'll be in traffic, which happens to be M-F from 7am-8am & 5pm-6pm, and they get on beat with a song, but when you start singing along or become a steering wheel drummer they turn into that "in the house in front of the mirror dancer" and just get off beat. Look out for it next time. Hit my phone when you see I'm right!!


**R|A|N|D|O|M|N|E|S|S** will not be happening in this episode since I ended up with a damn theme. I guess it was 43.7% ADHDNESSNESS, 1/8th formatted, and 2/3rd cadillac coupe deville because 3 out of 2 people struggle with fractions. Anyway, I spoke of music in the last blicky because I just wanted to ask a question while not really wanting an answer to the question because I just wanted to say what I have to say. Anyone else mug your cd player when your shit skips? You're in the car jamming, your shit skips and you look at your stereo like it owes you money. You could of been using that cd as a coaster but if your shit skips its the stereos fault. It turns into a mood change like someone stepped on your crispy white uppies on the first day of summer. You could even plug in your MP3 player/phone and something goes wrong, its the stereo's fault not your battery drained phone.



I came, I saw, I wrote, I met your girl and we came. HIIIIIIYYYYOOOOOOO!!! No, I'm out of here folks, but I do have one confession. When I did that little bootleg equation up top. *We'll wait for you to scroll up real quick if you forgot.......you good? If not, tough break naaagga.* I finished it and I was like, "I hope my boy Marcus the Engineer, doesn't find a way to really answer that shit." SOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

Scoob News 10/9

Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.



According to an Oklahoma City, Oklahoma police document, 23 year old Gregory Arthur Weiler of Elk Grove Village, Ill., has been charged under a strict Oklahoma anti-terrorism law after being found with bomb-making supplies in an Oklahoma motel room. He planned to blow up dozens of churches with Molotov cocktails. Apparently he wasn't aware he couldn't get change from the collection plate nor a refund after not liking the sermon.


Israeli forces and Palestinian militants exchanged fire Monday after Israel targeted TWO men in an AIRSTRIKE into Gaza on Sunday night resulting in the death of ONE of the targeted men. Israel officials said that militant jihadists were responsible for the attacks. Not to be outdone, militants responded by firing about 30 rockets towards Israel's southern border on Monday. They were heard saying, "Say hello to my little friend!!," in a Cuban accent upon firing each rocket.


After spending years of his life sexually abusing boys that were placed into his care and recent years denying it, Jerry Sandusky is likely to spend the rest of his life in jail. A judge sentenced the 68-year-old former Penn State assistant football coach Tuesday to at least 30 years in prison. He had faced a maximum of 400 years for dozens of charges stemming from his sexual abuse of 10 boys over a 15-year period. Sandusky was convicted in June. Judge John Cleland ruled that Sandusky was "dangerous" and will not be eligible for parole for 30 years. His maximum sentence is 60 years.  On a brighter note, he was given credit for the 112 days he has already served, which really means absolutely nothing aside from looking good on paper to his family. The prosecution however, did cut him some slack by providing him with a 30 year supply of KY Jelly for his hard times to come.



From the folks at WSCB have a great evening and stay hydrated

A FEW THINGS...

Let's talk about the Discovery channel for a second. Well, I'll talk you read. Say you saw it on there and people will believe you damn near regardless of the subject. Now you can't just jump in there though. You have to dip your toe in that pool. Got to plant that seed that you watch the Discovery channel and channels of that nature, so when you're ready to bullshit you have your shit right. A good resume will usually get you the job. That is unless your name is something Mah'lazhia Alize Smith. Then some issues might come into play. "Oh, dean's list all four years, graduated Magna Cum Laude, very interesting. We'll be in touch. Send in Kathy Jones. 2.3 GPA. HIRED." Shit!! ADHDNESSNESS got me. I'll own up to it. Anywaaaay, you have to be cool with it though. Letting people know your smart is the thing to do, but you need an edge on it. *TIME-OUT* If you didn't see what I did in that last sentence go look now, we'll wait for you. Lah, dah, dee, dah. Ok, if you didn't see it, maybe you need to step up your tv line up. No ADHDNESSNESS since I called for a "timeout," suckers! Ha! *TIME-IN* Its key that you have to drop the, "Yea I saw it on the Discovery Channel or some shit." "Or some shit," is that point at which it makes you seem down to Earth even if you're a jackass. All of those factors add up to give the pure bullshit seem like there's some possible truth to it. Let's recap: Actually watch the Discovery channel or shit like it. Tell people about what you see on those channels. Add in "or some shit" after you state your facts to make you seem down to Earth. Make some shit up and tell 'em you saw it on the Discovery channel, "or some shit." People will be there sitting talking some, "Oh I heard Discovery Channel does talk about some shit like that. 'Bout to have me watching that motherf*cker too."

Speaking of discovery, discoveries, and discoveringness things, let's talk

about deers & squirrels. Yea, there was a little seguenessness, but anywaaaay, everyday I'm on the highway so I see a lot of construction going on. I see that woods are getting destroyed and I think about how habitats for animals are just lost. Yes, fix your face, I have a heart!! Never thought I'd use the words, "destroyed" and "habitat" in a sentence after high school. Interesting, but I digress. You think the deers complain to the squirrels about how their habitats are being destroyed? I know a little something about deers and their habitats from tv. Saw it on the Discovery channel or some shit. But, let's put it out there, deers look like some whores. You see a deer and you're automatically like, "Aww its f*cking Bambi." That shit could be the size of a buffalo and you're like, "Come on son, you still got the Bambi eyelashes!! Look, you're mad and you're crying. Not attacking, but crying! Don't prance off!! Stay!! Baaatch!! Ha!!" The deer probably go cry to the squirrels asking 'em how they're going to deal with the construction since squirrels live in the trees. Squirrels are probably the smart asses of the animal kingdom. Apathetic to others and all about getting their nuts. See what I just did there? Anywaaaay, the squirrels probably tell 'em some, "Well actually we're cool because we'll just climb up in their roof as soon as the houses are finished. Tough break Bambi!!" Herds of deer mysteriously begin eating squirrels. Friday @8pm on the Discovery Channel.

**RAN|MOD|NESS|SSEN**: They don't say, "motherfucker" that much in rap as they say they do. "They" being the mainstream white socialist conservative tea drinking cocaine snorting media!! That was a stretch, but yea, just saying that rappers don't say it thaaaat often. Anywaaaay, I was headed to work the other day and Pandora was rolling out some good diddies. Nas' "If I ruled the world" came on and the light bulb flicked on. When he says, "open every cell in Attica and send 'em to Africa." You knooooow there's some guy in there on some, "Nigga I have 6 months left on a 18 month sentence. I'm in here for some traffic shit. Fuck that!! My grandmother was Dominican!! Dominicaaaaan!!!"

A FEW THINGS...

Heeeeeeey, have y'all ever noticed that how you're surprised by shit that's still around but you didn't know it was around, because you haven't seen a commercial for it in years. So, I'm the only one? Guess I should quit this subject huh? Well guess what?? I'm not. Y'all better skip down to the second one if this doesn't apply to you. Actually I'm going to dedicate this shit to one topic. Going to be "A THING" tonight!! That's not ADHDNESSNESS by the way people, so I don't want to hear shit. I digress. I recently was told by a female friend of mine that Cocoa Puffs still exist. If I do stroll down the aisle with cereal in it, it's to get Honey Nut Cheerios or some Frosted Shredded Mini-Wheats. I don't even pay attention to the other shit. I have to keep out of that aisle now because I'd probably geek knooooowing that shit will be there. Walk down there talking about some, "Oh shit son!! Cocoa Puffs!!! Cracked out ass bird!! WHERE YOU BEEN NAAAGGA!?!" Then if you're like me at all you start to think what kind of fucked up bird was that anyway?! We knew what all those other cartoon character cereal pushers were. But, the Cocoa Puffs pusher was wild!! Talking about it's the rare African moojootootoo bird! If a white man on the Discovery Channel told you that shit you'll say to yourself, "Well I'm sure he went to college, so he might be on to something."



I could of went for some segueness here, but I would of had to switch my whole idea up. Premise would of been the same, but y'all would of been reading like, "Why did he start like that? I know he's crazy, but damn." Don't disrespect me. Speaking of that, I don't mean any disrespect to anyone **Timeout: I did that shit Zach Morris style, but I know you already know it's going to be jacked up since I said "I don't mean any disrespect...," but you'll see I how it plays out. Time in** that lives on any south sides of cities, but y'all ever notice they usually get the reputation for being the worst area in that particular city?? Like, we have Cherry Hill/Westport(Sorry Buck) in Baltimore, Southside of Chicago, I heard the South Bronx, I know it's a burrough, but it's in NYC so shut up. If it's not the south side it's the eastside. East LA and East St. Louis. I need some people to look into this shit. Get a white person from the Discovery Channel to tell us that its due to the socioecononomic standards from the late 1800's. Sitting there again talking that, "Well I'm sure he went to college, so he might be on to something." Wait y'all! What do white collar white bread suburban white people say when they think they'll be disrespectful? Ahh yes, I got it. "Well James, if I can be frank, those numbers are way off." Soon as James hears, "if I can be frank," he's thinking to himself like,"Oh here comes the malarkey!!," before the rest of the sentence comes out.



**NESSNESSMODNAR**: I was giving Momma Hunter(The name everyone calls my mother) a phone number today and I realized I did something that I think damn near everyone does. Yes, "damn near everyone does," so that means you. Yes, you right there. Y'all reading like, man he better get to the point!! Wait for it, wait for it, ok I noticed that WEEEEEEE AAAAALLLLL give phone numbers the same way. We slowly give the area code, then the first three digits are all spaced out, then those last four get jammed together. Comes out sounding like this and shit. (FOUR ONE ZERO) FIVE------FIVE--------FIVE - THIRTYSIXNINTEEN. But, why do we always go slow around the first 3. Area codes said normal, then we go at a snail's pace for those next three, aaaaand we say the most important part fast as shit. Having people stressing sitting there like, "WAIT!! THE LAST FOUR DIGITS, FOUR DIGITS!! SLOW DOWN!!! You said (410) 555-3619 right?" What do we do then? " Man I saaaaaaiiidd (FOOOOUUUR OOOONE ZEROOOOO) FIIIIIVE---FIIIIIIVE-----

FIIIIIIVE - THIRTYSIXNINTEEN!!!

A FEW THINGS...

Can we talk about love for a second? On some real shit I love bitches and pussy. I wonder how many people saw the word "bitches" before they got to that part skipped ahead. Take your ass back up there!! NOW!! I shouldn't of done all caps there because they'll either skip straight to it or skim because they say "bitches" and the an all caps word. Couldn't type the all caps word again because they might skip or skim again. Wait, shit, it happened again. Y'all and that damn ADHDNESSNESS!! Where were we anyway? Oh yea, my love for bitches and pussy. Now, I've never had a dog, but I grew up with a cat in the house. Grandmother had a dog that I loved. Wait, y'all knew I was talking about female dogs and cats right? I wonder if you would love your pets as much as you do now if they could talk. Like, you know how dogs wake you up by jumping on the bed or some shit. Cats meow when they're hungry or something. Dog comes in the room, "Yo!! Yo!! Let me out. Wait, let's go for a walk. I need mark my territory so more. Whoooaaa!! Why are you putting on your Under Armour outfit? I didn't say anything about running!! Man, please!! Let's go for a drive or something!" What about your cat? You put some food in their dish and they meow a few times. They tell you that they really to talk to you. Like, "Hey before you leave can you ju--," you cut them off like, "Awww you're such a pretty kitty. I'm going to work now. See you later!" You get home and there they are waiting to talk. -"Soooo, you shit in the living room. What's that about? -"I told you we needed to talk!! My liter box is aaaaall fucked up!!" -"How about this?! I'm getting the newspaper!!" -"Meow! Meow!" -"Oooh so now it's meow? You know what? I'm definitely getting the newspaper!" -"WAIT! WAIT!" -"Oh you know how to speak again. Hmph!! You know what, fuck it, I'm going to just have a kid or something!!"



Kids? Semen to egg to kid. Did I mention something about a kid in the last thingness?! I believe I did. Looks like we, yes "we" because we're in this together, just had ourselves a moment of segueness!! Anyway, you know how kids piss during their slumber. Usually starts off in the diaper and then they get older and just piss in the bed. You know how we get older and we get that piss dream? You know the dream I'm talking about. When you're having a good little sleep and then it starts. You're floating along a beautiful river and the next thing you know, there's a huge waterfall and you magically end up in a bathroom ready to piss. Your brain gets on some shit like, WAKE UP!! YO!! YOOO!!!! GET UP AND GO PISS!! Now, to those that never had that piss dream experience, you now know the deal. Ask your co-workers or family members. My thing is, I never had a shit dream. Do they make shit dreams? Are they really out there?? Like, you wouldn't think it to be real even if you did have a shit dream. You'd fuck around and question yourself during the dream. "Naw. There's no way I could be having a shit dream. They don't exist. Meanwhile you're with Willy Wonka at the chocolate factory and he starts singing and shit, 'Puuuuure imagination!!'" After you ask him if you're having a shit dream instead of looking for ever lasting gobstopper, he looks at you and tell you how much he loves chocolate and Oompa Loompas. While all that is going on, your brain in the meantime is like, "I'm not waking him up. I want to see if he'll really shit himself." Brain signals down to the ass muscles. **Open torpedo hatch and prepare to fire** Wake up with a turd in your bed. DAMN YOU WILLY WOOOONNKKAAAA!!!


**ERSSEMDONASNSN**<----Word Scramble!!: Row row row your boat. Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily merrily merrily. Life is but a dream. Is that a slave master to the slave song? If you're gonna row that shit you damn sure better be merry. You want that ass whipped?! Be merry!! Be merry jiggaboo!!! Got damn!!

A FEW THINGS...

Sit down, shut up and read...................................................

You know how you're driving and you see those bumper stickers talking about they're a "proud parent" because their child made the honor roll. You know the ones I'm talking about right? What? You haven't? Must be a lifetime MTA pass holder without any intention of getting in a car. Everyone point at them real quick. Ok, back to focusing on me. Wait, why are we talking about the MTA? Shit!! Damn ADHDnessness!! Bumper stickers? Well I don't like them mainly because I'm not a fan of bumper stickers. Makes the car looks tacky to me. Put their damn report card on the fridge. How do I know you didn't steal that bumper sticker? Your neighbors see your car like, "She have a kid we don't know about, because I know she's not talking about Jimmy's little ass. He thought his name was Megatron for 2 years, but stopped thinking it was because he couldn't spell it." They also have those "My child beat up your honor student" stickers. Now, I ask you this, what happens to the parents who have kids that are dumb and can't fight? Parents out vandalize cars telling with those bumper stickers I mentioned earlier. I'm not typing it out again so go scroll up and look. I wonder if "I'm not typing it out again so go scroll up and look" has the same amount of characters as the bumper stickers I mentioned?? I'm still not telling!! It's not a game around here!! I made the honor roll and I can fight!! WOOF!! WOOF!!

Speaking of game, oh yes, SEGUENESSNESS!!!! Yes, you know you missed it!! It's been a long time. Wait, shit, I remember now. Games. I know it wasn't a complete sentence, so shut up. Game shows can do you dirty if you think about it. You win trips and shit but it's like always for two. If you're single and fucking with a few chicks, the heat is on. You're getting calls from chicks that haven't been on the roster for like a year talking some, "Hey, how you been doing?" You're like I'm cool and you're thinking someone told her I was on a TV show because her ass was too damn dumb to be watching Wheel of Fortune. Yes, to those wondering that's the game I would want to be on. I'm nice with the word puzzlenesses. I digress. You also start to worry that if you go dolo will you find a bitch that you can fuck. Every single dude that would go on a vacay thinks that. I'm not breaking any man laws here because come on y'all, they know shit!! Thing is that no one wants to bring sand to the beach but if you go to some nice exotic place and get no ass you're away for 5 days without getting any strange!! You're thinking you should of just taken the second to newest chick. Oh well, hope you bought a souvenir or some shit.

**RANDOMNESS|SSENSSENMODNAR**: Snitching. The word snitch just sounds soooo fucking bad. Like, "That motherfucker Jimmy got pinched and they made him snitch!" Soon as they hear it, Jimmy's ass has got to go!!! If it wasn't a verb off the break I don't think people would care really. See, the word "informant" is smoother. The word "inform" is a verb but the word "informant" is a noun. Not used as a verb from the get go. Not like how your parents would take a noun and turn it into a verb by saying some nonsense like, "I'll cookie your ass!!," when you ask for a cookie and shit. You're informing but no one reaaaaally sweats it, mainly because it just sounds so, Websterish. "That motherfucker Jimmy got pinched and they turned him in an informant." Niggas don't even want to get at yo that hard anymore. "Oh damn, an informant?! Never thought I'd see the day. Thought he was tough! Informant or not he was always hard and will always be hard in my eyes. Oh, no homo." **THUNDER ROLL**..€€€¥¥¥££££..**

LIGHTNING CRASHES** It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's Wayman Archibald IV!! "Heeeeey there boy!!" AAAAAHHHHH!!

Scoob News

Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.

A burgeoning population of huge pythons--many of them turned loose by their owners when they got too big--appears to be devouring large numbers of raccoons, opossums, bobcats and other mammals in the Everglades, said a study published Monday in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Scientists fear the pythons could upset the Everglades' environmental balance in ways that are difficult to predict. Upon hearing the news of large snakes devouring things, hundreds of homosexual males have flocked to the Everglades.


Every year, about 795,000 people in the U.S. suffer a stroke. While some strokes are caused by bleeding in the brain, more are like a clogged pipe. Called ischemic strokes, a clot blocks blood flow, starving brain cells to death unless that circulation is restored fast. Research found that nationwide, hospitalization rates for ischemic strokes have jumped by about a third among people ages 15 to 44 over the past decade. Aside from the information value of this story, it was given to you due to the fact you read the words "clogged pipe" once and "stroke(s)" four times.


In Kabul, Afghanistan 22-year-old woman has been strangled to death, apparently by her husband, who was upset that she gave birth to a second daughter rather than the son he wanted, police in Kunduz province said Monday. Upon telling him that the sex couldn't be determined without going to the doctor's he told authorities, "I thought when you hit it from the back and bust you'll have a son. My bad." Whether or not he used the ambilical cord to strangle the woman has not been released.

According to the Congressional Research Service, Washington has sent an average amount of $2 billion annually to Egypt since 1979. The aid is soon to be cut off after U.S. officials found out that the Egyptian government lied about needing the money to keep the lights on in the pyramids.


From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated

Scoob News

Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.


According to the Pew Forum poll, which is the first major independent poll of U.S. Mormons that will be released today stated that 74% of Mormons lean toward Republican. Those who were asked told reporters they chose Republican because they like to f*ck people over more than one at a time.



Nine E. Olson, who is an Independent watchdog within the agency said that 1.1 million tax returns seeking refunds last year were set aside by the Internal Revenue Service for examination for possible fraud. An estimated 73% of the cases were believed to be cases of "crackheads" letting people claim their children for money.


According to the U.N. special envoy to Haiti, 53% of the pledged funds for Haiti's reconstruction that donor nations have been dispersed so far. Of the $4.5 billion promised, $2.3 billion has been delivered. The United States is among those slow to cut checks: About $2.2 billion of the $3.1 billion committed by Washington has been dispersed. But U.S. diplomats say they will catch up in 2012. Pres. Obama was overheard saying, "Uh, I may not have it all but, uh, I will be able to uh, put something on it. Enough to uh, keep them off our backs for a few months."


Barbie has been an astronaut, an architect and a news anchor. Now, there's an online movement to get her to go bald to fight cancer. The Facebook page "Beautiful and Bald Barbie! Let's see if we can get it made" was started a few days before Christmas. By Wednesday afternoon, the page had more than 15,000 fans. The goal is to get toy maker Mattel Inc. to create a bald Barbie in support of children with cancer. A large group of gay men have been rallying to get a Ken doll made anatomically correct. They want it created in support of their love for dolls and penises.




From the folks at WSCB have a great evening and a fantastic MLK Day. We'll see you back on Tuesday. Stay hydrated.

Scoob News

Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.


Angry youths put up a burning roadblock outside luxury enclaves in Nigeria's commercial capital Tuesday as a paralyzing national strike over fuel prices and corruption entered its second day. Meanwhile, police said an Islamist sect killed eight people at a beer parlor in northeast Nigeria. The latter apparently was over the parlor not having Sam Adams Bean Pie flavored beer on tap or in bottle form.


The parents of Florida A&M band member Robert Champion, who died after a hazing ritual last November, said they will sue the company that owns the bus where the hazing took place. Champion's parents and attorney said Monday that the bus company's negligence contributed to his death. Fabulous Coach Lines owner Ray Land said his staff did everything to get help. Apparently, they did everything they could except drive to a hospital.



On Tuesday the Obama administration harshly criticized President Bashar Assad's latest effort to defend his regime's crackdown on protesters, saying it illustrates how unfit he is to lead a democratic transition in Syria. "He throws responsibility on everybody but back on himself," State Department spokeswoman Victoria Nuland said in Washington. If anyone has seen or heard from Victoria Nuland since her statement please call 1-888-HLP-MEEE

From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.

Scoob News

Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.

President Hugo Chavez defended his close ally Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Monday as Iranian tensions rose with Washington. The two leaders met in Caracas on the first leg of a four-nation tour that will also take Ahmadinejad to Nicaragua, Cuba and Ecuador. It is believed he is on a quest to find which country has the best cocaine. That could possibly open the door an "oil for cocaine" trade down the line.


In 2011, the number of vehicles sold through its BMW, Mini and Rolls-Royce brands was 1.67 million the German auto maker said on Monday. That is a record and an increase of 14.2 percent from 2010. Rolls-Royce increased unit sales by 30.5 percent, with 3,538 cars sold worldwide, breaking a 1978 sales record. A BMW rep who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us here at WSCB that, "We have to thank rappers and ignorant negroes spending more money then they actually have for all of record breaking success!!"


The rat population around the Occupy D.C. camps at McPherson Square and Freedom Plaza has "exploded" since protesters began their vigil in October, according to Mohammad N. Akhter, the director of the Districts' Dept of Health. Akhter said Monday city health inspectors have seen rats running openly through both camps and spotted numerous new burrows and nests underneath hay-stuffed pallets occupiers are using for beds. The National Park Service has official jurisdiction over the two camps will make the final decision about whether to evict the protesters. Several extermination companies have offered the occupy protesters job positions, but they were turned down due to lack of pay and it seeming too much like real work.



From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated

Scoob News

Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.


Former president Pervez Musharraf said on Sunday he would return to Pakistan this month and prepare for elections, which could add to the country's turmoil. His first challenge may be to avoid arrest: On Saturday, prosecutors said they planned to detain the former army chief on charges he failed to provide security for ex-prime minister Benazir Bhutto before she was killed in 2008. He was overheard saying, "I bet if she blue balled them they way she blue balled me, then they would of let that d*ck tease die too!"

Russian police on Sunday said an 18-month-old child was swept into the sewage system when a sidewalk collapsed due to a ruptured pipe. The mother was pushing a stroller in the city of Bryansk when the ground caved in. The woman was rescued, but the child was swept away and presumed dead. The mother told reporters from our Russian sister station, VDKA, that it smelt like the baby's diapers so she wasn't jumping in. She was later seen at a club that night.


The Obama administration said Friday it is expanding the FBI's more-than-80-year-old definition of rape to count men as victims and drop the requirement that victims must have physically resisted. Lawmakers use such statistics in allocating money and resources. Pres. Obama was overheard saying, "Uh, if he got the wood, uh, then uh it doesn't exactly mean he wanted the goods."

From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.

Scoob News

Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.


Gov. Chris Gregoire publicly supported legalizing same-sex marriage in Washington state, saying Wednesday that she came to the decision after several years of battling her own uncertainty on the issue and announcing a legalization bill will be introduced next week. It's rumored that she had several lesbians perform oral sex on her in which she immediately brought up the bill's need to be legalized.


According to officials in Afghanistan's Baghlan province, 15-year old Sahar Gul's in-laws kept her in a basement for six months, ripped her fingernails out, tortured her with hot irons and broke her fingers--all in an attempt to force her into prostitution. Police freed her after her uncle called authorities. A warrant was issued for her husband for serves in the Afghan army. He supposedly told his family to get her on the streets since she was too young to get a real job. The in-laws cited that broken fingers don't mean you can't perform oral sex.


Brownsville police say the weapon a Texas eighth grader pointed an officers at Cummings Middle School before they killed him was a pellet gun that looked like a real handgun. Interim Brownsville Police Chief Orlando Rodriguez says 15-year-old Jaime Gonzalez had "plenty of opportunities" to lower the weapon. We here at WSCB have no punch line for this story because of it's hilarious nature, however Jaime has been posthumously awarded the "Dumb Ass Yo Award." Along with the award comes the plaque that says, "Wit' Yo Dumb Ass!!"


From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.


Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my Blac

Scoob News

Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV

A second woman has been charged in the bleach and Pine-Sol fight in a Baltimore County Wal-mart in the fall. Ebony Odoms, 27, has been indicted on charges of first-degree assault, reckless endangerment and destruction of property in connection with the Oct. 8 that caused 19 people to be taken to area hospitals due to chemical fumes. On a brighter note, the first woman charged in the fight, Theresa Monique Jefferson, has been offered a mgmt. position by several local janitorial companies due to her extensive knowledge of cleaning products.

Hundreds of people protesting the doubling of fuel prices after a government subsidy was ended blocked roads in Nigeria's commercial capital of Lagos, burned tires, forced gas stations to close and hijacked buses Tuesday. Protests also occurred in Kano in the north, the Niger Delta in the southeast and in Ilorin in the west, where Nigerian Labor Congress party officials said one man was shot to death. It's believed that it took 27 people to chip in to buy one gallon of gas, that was used to start the tire fires.

An Army Green Beret member facing charges in Texas that he tried to bring explosives onto a civilian aircraft over the weekend had been involved in a similar incident, federal officials said Tuesday. Sgt. Trey Scott Atwater, 30, was briefly detained Dec. 24 at the airport in Fayetteville, N.C., where he was flying to Texas. Screeners found and confiscated a military smoke grenade in his bag. He was admonished but allowed to continue his trip, the complaint states. Sgt. Atwater was overheard saying, "I bought the shit because they take forever with my drinks. This would put some pep in their step!!"

From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.

Scoob News

Good evening, I'm Anthony J. Scoobington, with WSCB TV.

Verizon Wireless on Friday dropped a plan to start charging $2 for every payment subscribers make over the phone or online with their credit or debit cards. In a statement Friday, the company said "customer feedback" prompted the decision to drop the "convenience fee" it wanted to introduce on Jan. 15. It's estimated that 73% of the "customer feedback" comments simply said, "F*ck y'all!! I'll just go suffer with Sprint for all this sh*t!"

The chief Palestinian negotiator said Monday that his first meeting with Israelis in more than a year will be a last ditch effort to salvage the peace process and warned that the Palestinians would explore alternatives if no progress is made. Tuesday's meeting will be the first since September 2010. The aforementioned "alternatives" were rumored to be AK-47 bullets to the ass.

Iran test-fired a surface-to-surface cruise missile Monday in a drill its navy chief said proved Tehran was in complete control of the strategic Strait of Hormuz, the passage-way for one-sixth of the world's oil supply. There also have been conflicting comments from Iranian officials over Tehran's intentions to close the Strait of Hormuz and U.S. warnings against such an ominous move. Israeli Defense Minister Ehud Barak said the Iranian exercises was a show of strength intended "to deter the world from continuing sanctions against it." Our contact from the CIA who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us here at WSCB that the Iranians only had that one missile they fired due to the others still being on Christmas layaway.

From the folks at WSCB have a great evening. Stay hydrated.