A FEW THINGS...

Heeeeeeey, have y'all ever noticed that how you're surprised by shit that's still around but you didn't know it was around, because you haven't seen a commercial for it in years. So, I'm the only one? Guess I should quit this subject huh? Well guess what?? I'm not. Y'all better skip down to the second one if this doesn't apply to you. Actually I'm going to dedicate this shit to one topic. Going to be "A THING" tonight!! That's not ADHDNESSNESS by the way people, so I don't want to hear shit. I digress. I recently was told by a female friend of mine that Cocoa Puffs still exist. If I do stroll down the aisle with cereal in it, it's to get Honey Nut Cheerios or some Frosted Shredded Mini-Wheats. I don't even pay attention to the other shit. I have to keep out of that aisle now because I'd probably geek knooooowing that shit will be there. Walk down there talking about some, "Oh shit son!! Cocoa Puffs!!! Cracked out ass bird!! WHERE YOU BEEN NAAAGGA!?!" Then if you're like me at all you start to think what kind of fucked up bird was that anyway?! We knew what all those other cartoon character cereal pushers were. But, the Cocoa Puffs pusher was wild!! Talking about it's the rare African moojootootoo bird! If a white man on the Discovery Channel told you that shit you'll say to yourself, "Well I'm sure he went to college, so he might be on to something."



I could of went for some segueness here, but I would of had to switch my whole idea up. Premise would of been the same, but y'all would of been reading like, "Why did he start like that? I know he's crazy, but damn." Don't disrespect me. Speaking of that, I don't mean any disrespect to anyone **Timeout: I did that shit Zach Morris style, but I know you already know it's going to be jacked up since I said "I don't mean any disrespect...," but you'll see I how it plays out. Time in** that lives on any south sides of cities, but y'all ever notice they usually get the reputation for being the worst area in that particular city?? Like, we have Cherry Hill/Westport(Sorry Buck) in Baltimore, Southside of Chicago, I heard the South Bronx, I know it's a burrough, but it's in NYC so shut up. If it's not the south side it's the eastside. East LA and East St. Louis. I need some people to look into this shit. Get a white person from the Discovery Channel to tell us that its due to the socioecononomic standards from the late 1800's. Sitting there again talking that, "Well I'm sure he went to college, so he might be on to something." Wait y'all! What do white collar white bread suburban white people say when they think they'll be disrespectful? Ahh yes, I got it. "Well James, if I can be frank, those numbers are way off." Soon as James hears, "if I can be frank," he's thinking to himself like,"Oh here comes the malarkey!!," before the rest of the sentence comes out.



**NESSNESSMODNAR**: I was giving Momma Hunter(The name everyone calls my mother) a phone number today and I realized I did something that I think damn near everyone does. Yes, "damn near everyone does," so that means you. Yes, you right there. Y'all reading like, man he better get to the point!! Wait for it, wait for it, ok I noticed that WEEEEEEE AAAAALLLLL give phone numbers the same way. We slowly give the area code, then the first three digits are all spaced out, then those last four get jammed together. Comes out sounding like this and shit. (FOUR ONE ZERO) FIVE------FIVE--------FIVE - THIRTYSIXNINTEEN. But, why do we always go slow around the first 3. Area codes said normal, then we go at a snail's pace for those next three, aaaaand we say the most important part fast as shit. Having people stressing sitting there like, "WAIT!! THE LAST FOUR DIGITS, FOUR DIGITS!! SLOW DOWN!!! You said (410) 555-3619 right?" What do we do then? " Man I saaaaaaiiidd (FOOOOUUUR OOOONE ZEROOOOO) FIIIIIVE---FIIIIIIVE-----

FIIIIIIVE - THIRTYSIXNINTEEN!!!