Can we talk about love for a second? On some real shit I love bitches and pussy. I wonder how many people saw the word "bitches" before they got to that part skipped ahead. Take your ass back up there!! NOW!! I shouldn't of done all caps there because they'll either skip straight to it or skim because they say "bitches" and the an all caps word. Couldn't type the all caps word again because they might skip or skim again. Wait, shit, it happened again. Y'all and that damn ADHDNESSNESS!! Where were we anyway? Oh yea, my love for bitches and pussy. Now, I've never had a dog, but I grew up with a cat in the house. Grandmother had a dog that I loved. Wait, y'all knew I was talking about female dogs and cats right? I wonder if you would love your pets as much as you do now if they could talk. Like, you know how dogs wake you up by jumping on the bed or some shit. Cats meow when they're hungry or something. Dog comes in the room, "Yo!! Yo!! Let me out. Wait, let's go for a walk. I need mark my territory so more. Whoooaaa!! Why are you putting on your Under Armour outfit? I didn't say anything about running!! Man, please!! Let's go for a drive or something!" What about your cat? You put some food in their dish and they meow a few times. They tell you that they really to talk to you. Like, "Hey before you leave can you ju--," you cut them off like, "Awww you're such a pretty kitty. I'm going to work now. See you later!" You get home and there they are waiting to talk. -"Soooo, you shit in the living room. What's that about? -"I told you we needed to talk!! My liter box is aaaaall fucked up!!" -"How about this?! I'm getting the newspaper!!" -"Meow! Meow!" -"Oooh so now it's meow? You know what? I'm definitely getting the newspaper!" -"WAIT! WAIT!" -"Oh you know how to speak again. Hmph!! You know what, fuck it, I'm going to just have a kid or something!!"
Kids? Semen to egg to kid. Did I mention something about a kid in the last thingness?! I believe I did. Looks like we, yes "we" because we're in this together, just had ourselves a moment of segueness!! Anyway, you know how kids piss during their slumber. Usually starts off in the diaper and then they get older and just piss in the bed. You know how we get older and we get that piss dream? You know the dream I'm talking about. When you're having a good little sleep and then it starts. You're floating along a beautiful river and the next thing you know, there's a huge waterfall and you magically end up in a bathroom ready to piss. Your brain gets on some shit like, WAKE UP!! YO!! YOOO!!!! GET UP AND GO PISS!! Now, to those that never had that piss dream experience, you now know the deal. Ask your co-workers or family members. My thing is, I never had a shit dream. Do they make shit dreams? Are they really out there?? Like, you wouldn't think it to be real even if you did have a shit dream. You'd fuck around and question yourself during the dream. "Naw. There's no way I could be having a shit dream. They don't exist. Meanwhile you're with Willy Wonka at the chocolate factory and he starts singing and shit, 'Puuuuure imagination!!'" After you ask him if you're having a shit dream instead of looking for ever lasting gobstopper, he looks at you and tell you how much he loves chocolate and Oompa Loompas. While all that is going on, your brain in the meantime is like, "I'm not waking him up. I want to see if he'll really shit himself." Brain signals down to the ass muscles. **Open torpedo hatch and prepare to fire** Wake up with a turd in your bed. DAMN YOU WILLY WOOOONNKKAAAA!!!
**ERSSEMDONASNSN**<----Word Scramble!!: Row row row your boat. Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily merrily merrily. Life is but a dream. Is that a slave master to the slave song? If you're gonna row that shit you damn sure better be merry. You want that ass whipped?! Be merry!! Be merry jiggaboo!!! Got damn!!
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