Let's talk about the Discovery channel for a second. Well, I'll talk you read. Say you saw it on there and people will believe you damn near regardless of the subject. Now you can't just jump in there though. You have to dip your toe in that pool. Got to plant that seed that you watch the Discovery channel and channels of that nature, so when you're ready to bullshit you have your shit right. A good resume will usually get you the job. That is unless your name is something Mah'lazhia Alize Smith. Then some issues might come into play. "Oh, dean's list all four years, graduated Magna Cum Laude, very interesting. We'll be in touch. Send in Kathy Jones. 2.3 GPA. HIRED." Shit!! ADHDNESSNESS got me. I'll own up to it. Anywaaaay, you have to be cool with it though. Letting people know your smart is the thing to do, but you need an edge on it. *TIME-OUT* If you didn't see what I did in that last sentence go look now, we'll wait for you. Lah, dah, dee, dah. Ok, if you didn't see it, maybe you need to step up your tv line up. No ADHDNESSNESS since I called for a "timeout," suckers! Ha! *TIME-IN* Its key that you have to drop the, "Yea I saw it on the Discovery Channel or some shit." "Or some shit," is that point at which it makes you seem down to Earth even if you're a jackass. All of those factors add up to give the pure bullshit seem like there's some possible truth to it. Let's recap: Actually watch the Discovery channel or shit like it. Tell people about what you see on those channels. Add in "or some shit" after you state your facts to make you seem down to Earth. Make some shit up and tell 'em you saw it on the Discovery channel, "or some shit." People will be there sitting talking some, "Oh I heard Discovery Channel does talk about some shit like that. 'Bout to have me watching that motherf*cker too."
Speaking of discovery, discoveries, and discoveringness things, let's talk
about deers & squirrels. Yea, there was a little seguenessness, but anywaaaay, everyday I'm on the highway so I see a lot of construction going on. I see that woods are getting destroyed and I think about how habitats for animals are just lost. Yes, fix your face, I have a heart!! Never thought I'd use the words, "destroyed" and "habitat" in a sentence after high school. Interesting, but I digress. You think the deers complain to the squirrels about how their habitats are being destroyed? I know a little something about deers and their habitats from tv. Saw it on the Discovery channel or some shit. But, let's put it out there, deers look like some whores. You see a deer and you're automatically like, "Aww its f*cking Bambi." That shit could be the size of a buffalo and you're like, "Come on son, you still got the Bambi eyelashes!! Look, you're mad and you're crying. Not attacking, but crying! Don't prance off!! Stay!! Baaatch!! Ha!!" The deer probably go cry to the squirrels asking 'em how they're going to deal with the construction since squirrels live in the trees. Squirrels are probably the smart asses of the animal kingdom. Apathetic to others and all about getting their nuts. See what I just did there? Anywaaaay, the squirrels probably tell 'em some, "Well actually we're cool because we'll just climb up in their roof as soon as the houses are finished. Tough break Bambi!!" Herds of deer mysteriously begin eating squirrels. Friday @8pm on the Discovery Channel.
**RAN|MOD|NESS|SSEN**: They don't say, "motherfucker" that much in rap as they say they do. "They" being the mainstream white socialist conservative tea drinking cocaine snorting media!! That was a stretch, but yea, just saying that rappers don't say it thaaaat often. Anywaaaay, I was headed to work the other day and Pandora was rolling out some good diddies. Nas' "If I ruled the world" came on and the light bulb flicked on. When he says, "open every cell in Attica and send 'em to Africa." You knooooow there's some guy in there on some, "Nigga I have 6 months left on a 18 month sentence. I'm in here for some traffic shit. Fuck that!! My grandmother was Dominican!! Dominicaaaaan!!!"
