3/10/2009

1) What's good family? When you read the word "family" do you think of the past? Like Charles Darwin type family and past. Lol. *Side note*, if you don't know who Charles Darwin is you should go play in traffic. Anyway, over in a zoo not too far from Stockholm there was a 31 year old chimp, Santino, that carefully planned out some shit. Before the zoo opened this bastard started walking around his enclosure collecting rocks and putting them in a nice little pile. So midday comes and you know how people just looooooove to go see the monkey's in the zoo, ol' Santino goes to his pile and started chucking rocks at the humans. Yo only hit a few people but, it was the simple fact that he planned ahead for it. "Tired of all these people coming to look at me!! I got something for their asses!!" The scientists were pumped because it shows primates are able to simulate certain situations and plan for them. Wild huh.

2) Oh shit!! Speaking of "planning ahead" I hope you all heard of this 51 year old woman from Cali? Her ass shall be planning for jail son!!! Lol. This heffa was a bookkeeper for a this company and she embezzled $9.9 million dollars from the company, which by the way caused 400 people to be laid off. Imagine if you were one of those people...1...2....3...Did you imagine? Ok, I assume you are a little salty but, wait until I tell you what this bitch had done with some of the money. *Ahem* $240,000 spent on 400 pairs of shoes..............$300,00

0 spent on designer clothing.....160 purses costing $2,000 a piece. She had a bedroom in her house remodeled to be a CLOSET, in which she had a chandelier and a 32" flat screen TV. They need to take MTV Cribs off the air!! Lol. She is in the San Diego County Jail being held on $10 Million bail.

3) JAIL!!! OK I was going to save this one for last but, transition, segue, etc started eating at me. Anyway, down in Florida this duuuuuuuuumb ass bastard was caught BREAKING BACK INTO JAIL!! Apparently, this dick head broke a door then climbed over a fence. I'm pretty sure you are sitting there like," Ok he got out!! Why did he go back?!" He went to a local store not too far away then STOLE some cigarettes!! The guards noticed the broken door and went looking for the inmate throughout the jail. They caught his ass breaking back in with 14 packs of cigarettes. 20 fogs to a pack x 14 packs=280 fogs. I hope he wasn't trying to be the man in the bing or getting some face for fogs. Yo, had a "Face for Fogs Foundation"...lol Anyway, he has 2 more charges added to his sheet. Breaking out of jail and stealing. I can only hold my head low in shame.

4) Anybody hear that 9-1-1 tape of the woman calling the police on her 14yr old son?!?! She was like,"I need someone to come get this boy!! He is extremely disrespectful, he won't listen to me, won't take out the garbage, and his grades are bad!! I am calling you now because if I have to call again about him you will be coming here for a 187!!" That's retarded!! For those not in "the know" of what a "187" call is that's the police's code for a homicide. Granted my parents were on that mantra of "I brought you in, I'll take you out" they didn't have to call the police. Shit, as a child I would have preferred jail. "Please officer, take me to jail!! Just don't take me home!!" Where has the respect gone? *Rhetorical so please don't attempt to answer* My sister, Gia, and I would joke around to our parents like,"beat us and we'll call 9-1-1!" and parents would say,"we'll save you the trouble, you won't have to call, we will take you down to the station and whip your ass there!" Fucked our joke all up. Lol.