A Few Things...

 Ok, sit down. Please, please take your seats. Strap in and hold on tight.


You know you were in a bad area if something happens to you maybe like uummmmm death and people shit on you after they find out where it happened. Someone could get a phone call -*TIME OUT* A "phone call" is when one person uses their phone and dials another person's phone. They then proceed to converse back & forth all without typing any words to each other. That's for the younger generation who think texts are required for everything. *TIME IN* -,and you'd be standing next to them and all you hear is them like, "Oh shit!! No yo!?! Not my nigga!! He got shot?! Where the hell was he?! Where? Oh? Damn. Well that's what his dumb ass gets for being down there. I wouldn't go there in the daytime. Dumb ass. Well aight yo, good look on the call." Now, hopefully whomever got that phone call isn't one of those double story tellers instead of just giving the details. Y'all know what a "double story teller" is though right? They normally are like, "That was Chris that just called me. He told me Keith got shot. I couldn't believe it when he told me. I asked where he was when he got shot. He told he was down _____, and after he told me I couldn't feel sorry for him. I told him I wouldn't go down there in the daytime." You're sitting there like, "Umm yea I was standing next to you. You tapped me on my arm when you were listening & looked me dead in my face the whole time." NO ADHDNESSNESS!!! Ok there was a sprinkle but nothing major!! Anyway, the moral of the story is, don't pipe chicks that live in bad neighborhoods. Daaaaaah.


Chicks with morals is an interesting subject these days. **WAIT! STOP! HALT!**: I knoooow you peeped that transition-nessness from one topic to the next.**BEGIN--SOOOOOOYYY!!** Now, chicks with moralnesses are cool, but--ok wait, wait, wait. I have to stop this one because I was doing this a few days ago and I had to stop. Now, my mind is moving a mile a minute so when I saved it and came back to it later I was like, "What theeee fuck was I about say?!" Had no clue where I was going with it. So, I'll take this time to thank the following people for inspiring me to write these. *Ahem* ______, _______, definitely can't forget ______ because without them I never would get my toenails clipped. Oh shit, I got to shoutout ______ for letting me have sex in their parents hot tub. <----spell _______="" a="" all="" and="" anyway="" because="" but="" can="" caps="" check="" condom.="" condom="" did="" didn="" down="" em="" for="" gallon="" going="" hottub="" how="" i="" in="" is="" its="" just="" know="" let="" like="" little.="" m="" many="" me="" not="" now="" of="" ok="" one="" people="" put="" puuuuurrreeee="" saw="" sex="" shoutout="" skipped="" so="" spell="" stop="" t.="" telling="" that="" the="" this="" to="" two="" was="" water="" wonder="" word="" words.="" you="">ADHDNESSNESS
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**A-R/D-N/M-O/S-E/S-S**: The other day a friend of mine was getting on their plane. I noticed that I had told them to have a safe trip. Now I realize when people say that, they mean well, as I did, but I thought about it afterwards and I was thinking of nonsense to say back to that. Someone tells you to have a safe trip and it'll click in your mind like, "I'm flying. I'm not the fucking pilot. If I was the pilot and I was drinking or high and you said that then I'm like cool." Shit, the pilot's wife probably tells him to have a safe trip and he's like, "Biiiiitch!! I flew in Vietnam doing 3-4 missions a day and I was high off my ass on heroin. I goooot this!!! You hear me?! Naaaaam!!! I'm going from BWI to Atlanta, not Saigon biiiitch!! And yes I'm high, reaaaaal high!!!"