10/16

*I would like to take a quick time out and dedicate this to a friend of mine who needs some humor right now in her life. So, let's have some fun!!*


Sorry for not writing one of these in a week or so, my zipper was stuck.

1) You remember in high school, how there were people you were pretty cool with, but didn't really hang with them like that. They were in the slow classes. You know, the ones where there are like 8 people in there. When you walk by the class they're always watching some type of video, or they're reading a Dr. Seuss book aloud. Outside of school, they were gifted athletes, but never had the grades to play for the school. Sold drugs, or always getting into some shit. After graduation, your graduation that is, you don't really see them anymore. The reason you don't see them anymore is because, A) they dropped out -OR- B) they got transferred to a school for the "troubled" kids. So, some years go by, blackplanet, myspace, then BAM, facebook comes about. All of a sudden your getting requests from people from back in the day. First thing I usually think is, "OH SHIT!! That motherfucker is still alive?!?!" The shit usually gets deeper after you realize they're alive. You sitting there thinking like, "that motherfucker can read?!! Aaaaaannndddd, they know how to use a computer?!?" You get a little excited like, "Aw man, they've changed their lives around. Got their shit together after all these years!!" Then it happens. You see INBOX(1) and you go open it, and see the newly added friend has dropped a message. They ask what's been going on, and you reply by telling your story and asking about them. That's the cordial thing to do, buuuuuuuut, when you see that INBOX(1) and they ask what's been good AND if you got a number they can hit you at. THEN, there's no reply. Fuck being cordial. Daaaaaah.



2) Hey yo, I know this is mad random, but when aren't I random? Daaaah. Anyway, you ever notice how if you see someone fuck up doing something. Like toss a piece of balled up piece of paper at a trash can like a foot away and miss. What's the first thing they do, before they pick it up? They look around. That's how you know when you fuck up. You just look around the room to see who might of noticed it. It look perfectly normal to you when they do something, but soon as they peek up, you're like, "OOOOOHHHHH!!! They fucked up!! They didn't want to do that shit!! Daaaaah!" That's when you just turn up one side of your mouth and shake your head. They start thinking *Damn it!! I knew I should of just waited until I was alone!!* Little do they know you have noooo clue what the fuck up was. So, if you do something that's basic to you, and you don't do it how you intended to do it. Just fix it, without looking up and around, then go about your business.


3) I was at work the other day on lunch break, and I heard one of theeeee dumbest statements people make that gets under my skin. "They didn't put enough lettuce on this!!" Normally, that's not a statement to get someone riled up, but the person had gone to Subway!! If you've never been to Subway before in your life, YOU verbally make the the sandwich. YOU say,"Can I have a lot of lettuce?" BAM it happens. A smorgasbord of delectable little goodies to put on your sandwich. You're in control of your sandwich destiny!! "Subway, makes the best sandwiches!!" Shut up!! They do not!! You do. Ok, they bake their own bread. Anyway, just eat your sandwich and shut up. If you have any reason to complain its the lack of tuna you get on your sandwich. If your shit isn't looking right, tell the "SANDWICH ARTIST" that,"you aren't serious about your craft. So can you put some more southwest sauce on that please??" If you are feeling frisky, tell them that the title "'SANDWICH ARTIST' should inspire them to be the best!! Make my shit look so good, that I want to take a picture of it, before I eat that shit." Juuuuuust saying.


Now, I think I'll go make a sandwich and bitch about the lack of mayo that I put on my sandwich.