9/29

CHEA! CHEA!! CHEA!!! I don't know. It just felt right at the time. If you were sleepy, you woke up a little bit because you were confused. Damn it, I said I didn't know right?!? Well, I doooooo know A FEW THINGS...though. Let's get it.


1) The old Salt N Peppa song, "I'll take your man" says a lot, Trey Songz on "Bottom's Up" starts off singing, "Mr. Steal your girl" I don't know about y'all but, I feel some type of way about that shit. You see the person, and you're are physically attracted to the person off the bat. You only bet the person has a nice personality if their face looks like a homeless person's left foot infected with gout. "Yo, ugly as shiiiiit, but I bet they're mad cool!!" I digress. You sitting there plotting like, "Oh, I can easily snatch her away from him. He's a clown!" You getting caught up in the finenessness, that you lose sight of the fact that the motherf*cker could be, "craaaazzzzyyyy, deeerrraaannnggedd" After you hit, they start talking about some, "I'm really feeling you." You thinking like, "Yep I just tore that ass up!!" Then she starts talking like, "I remember when I first saw you like 6 months ago, I was with my man at the mall, but I wanted you. Then I saw you at that party, then I saw you out eating with some older woman. Was that your mother? When am I going to meet her?" Youuuuu are now worried a little bit thinking, "I saw her like twice and it was on Tuesday and Wednesday!!" Go to ask her, "Soooo, do you need cab fare?!?" She starts laughing talking about some, "Baby you're crazy!! I want to spend the night!!" Yes, you now have a situation. All over a new piece of ass!! Just because it glitters, doesn't mean it's gold.


2)Gold!! Golden toilet!! That's what real ballers have!! Naw, I just needed a segue point. Don't judge me, because you were with it before I told you!!! "Oooh a golden toilet story!!" Daaaah. You may be sickened by this, buuuut then again I don't care. There's another one below this, so you can skip it. Annnyyyyywaaaaay, have you ever gone to the bathroom with some reading material, and you get so engrossed in your material that you forget if you went or not? Be there so long, that your legs went numb, and then you're still there that you don't even notice the numbnessness anymore. So, you peek down to see if there is something floating, theeeen you go from there. Raise your hand if it's happened? *crickets* Ok, forget y'all then.



3)This is mainly for the fellas, but the ladies can know of this atrocity that sometimes goes on. In a public bathroom there is an etiquette that needs to be observed. Just because you're next to someone pissing does NOT mean you need to try and spark up a convo. It's like the person gets nervous. They're sitting there thinking, "Oh shit, I'm standing next to someone that has their dick out too. Umm ummm ummmm, come on John, say something. Think!! Think!!" Then it happens..."So, did you see that game last night? That was something else wasn't it?!?" NO! NO! NO! Eyes front,chin up,piss,shake,flush,wash hands. That's all that needs to happen while at the urinal. Speak when the hand washing process has begun. Damn shame.



4)Since we're on the subject of etiquette, well I am at least. Just keep reading. Where was I? Oh yes, I'm sure some of you all wear some type of smell goods. You know, just a dash on the wrist and behind the ears. If you smell someone of the same sex that has on some shit, you think you would wear, there is a method of going about it to ask. Females: Y'all have it easier because you can actually say, "That smells good. What is that?",without having them thing some gay shit. Y'all can bullshit it if need be. "Excuse me, is that, that new Vera Wang?" Shorty will give you that, "Girl no!! This is a body spray from Bath & Body Works." Start with something expensive, theeeen that's your foot in the door. Males: We have to have a different approach. Let you walk up to a dude talking some, "Hey yo, my man. You smell good. Wha-*JAB*!!" -"Man, I ain't on that faggie shit!!!!" That's how you need not go. Actually, there is no real way to do it except go get a female to ask dude. Daaaaaah.


5)Speaking of asking questions, I was reading the paper today, and they were talking about the census. Yes, the questions you ducked. Yes, YOU!! Anyway, the story was saying that 11.7 million U.S households are receiving government aid. That's 1 in 10 families people. Soooooo, when are we going shopping. Soooomebody has them, or knows somebody. I read in the paper not to long ago that Bj's and other wholesale food places were accepting them also. Food stamps baby. Let's get some fooooood!!!!!


Well my friends, I have fed you some bull shiggidee for a little while. Hope you're full. If not, buck up and do some push ups. It will take the edge off.