11/25/08

1) Hiiiiyyooo!! One more god damn day! Paid tomorrow then off 'til December!! Sounds like a long ass time huh? Well 4 days is good enough for young Scoobert.


2) Saw on MSNBC a few minutes ago that the national debt is now $10.6 Trillion! I say woo shit, god damn. We're 10 trillion in the hole and they wanna bail someone out. That's like writing a check for a $5,000 item and you only have enough in the bank to cover that $35 overdraft fee. Lol.


3) Oh shit speaking of bailout. The three CEO's seeking $25 billion in government loans of Ford, of Chrysler, and of some other car shit. They are all based in Detroit. They flew to DC to see what was good with that $25 billion, right.
Tell me why they each flew on separate flights on their own private jets. And, ODB got the blues for picking up his welfare check in a limo.
God damn! Lol

4) Speaking of big money. This Canadian man who was flooding Facebook with some of that "sexually explicit spam"...spamitty calamitty..my bad...well a judge in San Francisco ruled in favor of Facebook. Awarding them $873 million!! What the fuck am I doing wrong? I need to take a computer course, design a slick ass site that gets popular.
Then, let it get hacked and sue or sell that shit to a big ass greedy company!! Probably won't work, damn Bush economy!! Shit!! Cooooooome on January 21st! Yes, the day after the inauguration, when business gets started!! LET'S GET THE GUNSHOTS GOING!! Bad play on words, let's get shit moving? Eeehhhh

5) Oh yea, speaking of president. We were talking about this at work. Can mentally challenged people vote? Lol. I mean they can get jobs pushing shopping carts in from the parking lot, so I'm sure they can get down in the democratic policy the U.S. has.


6) Has anyone ever went to type the word "this" and ended up typing "shit"? Yo please, tell me I'm not the only person who does that on occasion. Ask a friend to ask a friend.
Lol

7) I made a phone call today, and the person I called was on the other line, so their answering machine came on. She had this message, theeeeen a woman came on. Saying record after the beep and shit. Same voice that comes on when you check your own voicemail. Wonder how much that woman got paid for that? Anyway, my thing is why aren't their man voices for shit like that? You think gay men get offended? Yes, I'm random and I think of random shit then write it down. Then comes the bulletins. Lol, if more people kept it 100, this world would be a lot different. 2009 I'm getting it in because 2008 is already in the books as the worst year ever.
Lol

That is all.

11/24/08

1) Sup he's, she's, he/she's, amputee's, and those without pets. Yes, don't ask. Lol. I just started going. Don't judge me, I'm just serious about my craft.


2) Speaking about being serious about your craft. The thought of laying pipe comes to mind. One of my favorite activities but, I was listening to Lloyd's CD the other day and I thought about something. With all the lawsuits that come about, when do you think someone will sue a singer for child support? Lol. Yo in court talking about,"On track four you specifically said, 'let's do something crazy, let's make a baby.' So I did, and since you weren't around to help out for the last 18yrs I am suing you for 1.6 million. Little Tyriek likes Gucci." Lol.
That would be done by the dumbest person ever!! Hoodrats on getting their GOOGLE ooooooon!!

3) Since I'm on the subject of dumb motherfucka's....in China this 20yr old college student got fuuuuuuucked up by a panda bear. How does that make him dumb you ask? This idiot climbed a 6 1/2ft high fence so he could give the bear a god damn hug!! Yo said, "Ying Ying is so cute I wanted to cuddle with him." College tuition wasted! A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Lol

4) I see "dumb" is the theme tonight. Lol. In 2006 this guy was egged on to shoot this guy. Guy saw gun, ran. Guy with gun chased running man. Shot running man in the leg and ass. Right. Bong. This past summer shooting ass yo gets some radio play with his little rap song. Dude who hears the song says "whooooaaa!!" What made him say that? In the song the rapper AKA the shooter talks about his toughness, then gives evidence. "Ask Chad Blue, he know how I shoot." Yes, said the guys name whom he shot. Dude said "Whooooooaaa, I know that voice!! That's the nigga who lives up such and such!! 9-1-1...duuuuuummmb ass yo!!

5) Lol!! On a lighter note, there is this 18 year old who people believed he was Buddha reincarnated, because he could meditate for months without food, without water, and without sleep. Tell me why they caught yo eating fruit and taking a nap.
Gotcha bitch!!! Lol

That is all.

11/20/08

1) Sup family? Tomorrow is motherfuckin' FRIDAY!! It's a non-pay week but, I don't care. Lol. Off work and I get to watch/play football. Maybe an install. hehehhe AAAAAAhhhhhh.


2) Yo I saw this goofy looking as kid walking up the street. Like fucked up haircut, his moms was like "Come here Devin, I can cut your hair just like in those video's" Clothes all fucked up. So I was wondering if parents get their kids fucked up clothes and shit to build character. So they can get teased at school and shit. Kids are haaaaarsh!! Lol. I'm not getting a damn thing for my kids name brand. I'm gonna give them the speech I got when I asked for shit like that. "How much are they paying you? What's it going to do for you? Help you pass that math test? What do they do? Make you run faster? Jump higher?" So off to Payless & K-mart we went. Lol. When I started working at 16 I became a "label whore" to make up for lost times. But, I discovered clothes don't make the man, man makes the clothes. Back to K-mart. Lmao. Sike naw but, you understand.
Lol

3) I caught the tail end of the news story on MSNBC the other night but, they were talking about these car jackers. Two motherfuckas told dude to get out of the car.
Tell me why neither idiot knew how to drive a stick shift. Lol. See that's people not being serious about their craft. If you are going to aspire to do something give it your all. My brother Marcus Encore went to Subway one day and I told the "sandwich artist" he wasn't serious about his craft. If I had that title....son?! A fucking "sandwich artist" ARTIST!! Lol. I would make each sandwich a masterpiece!! Make you wanna take a picture before you eat it! Lol All I'm saying is..everything you do deserves 110%. Look at wiping your ass.
You don't bullshit on that job do ya? Do ya?!?! Lol

4) Speaking of "asses" and "jobs"...IF a stripper would actually take change from someone. Where would they put that shit? Lol. COME GET THIS MONEY GIRL!! Fuck around and be $3 in quarters. Would she turn those 12 shiny twenty-five cent pieces down? Or would she tuck them in her boot? Lol. If she's serious about her craft she will.
Lol

5) Oh shit!! Speaking of strippers. I have friends who shake their asses for cash. I knock no one's hustle, especially if they are serious about their craft. I don't frequent strip clubs too often. I can probably count on one hand. Anyway, last time I went to one we were at The Foxy Lady. (Yea I just saw your faces like Eeeewwww mommy eeeewwww) But, yes the night was winding down and this guy was getting a lap dance. Shit goes all wrong from here. Lights come on, shorty gets up, she was halfway bent over, then it happened............dude lifted his right hand up with his index finger pointed out, he lined it up and shoot his finger straight in her ass!! She stood up straight so fucking fast!! He was drunk as shit too, she was like "Muthafucka you don't do no god damn shit like that...blah blah nigga I will fuck you up..blah blah" Her girl was holding her back...He was ready for whatever..yes he was ready to fight the stripper. Lol. So dude gets escorted out by security. Then it got worse. Well from my P.O.V , the girl who held shorty back must of had an epiphany or some shit because she said exactly this, "Girl don't get so mad. We're strippers and they don't think highly of us.
" Do you know I laughed from The Lady til I got home? That's how you console someone!! Don't get mad!! We ain't shit! Lmao

That is all.

11//19/08

1) What's good family? Humpday has come and gone for those in the 9-5 world. 8-5 in my case. Speaking of 8am. I was en route to work the other day and this car was in front of me as I left my complex. This nigga had a 1980 Chevy Caprice....NOT in good condition. Like you keep your distance because you think shit might fall off. Lol...I digress...have you ever noticed that people with little putt putt's drive over speed bumps slooooow as shit?!? I mean granted if they go with some medium to fast speed they might lose something, but no one could tell. Car looks, car sounds, and the car smells fucked up!! Lol.
Hit that speed bump and keep it moving!! Lol

2) Comedians that do impressions?? Not to big on them. I mean oh ok cool you sound like someone famous. You may be able to flip it and say some shit that you knooooooow they wouldn't be caught saying to make it funny.
But, when is it too much? God damn!! You get to the point, when you start wondering how they really act. With that being said, if I ever see Aries Spears, I'm going to kick him in the nuts then bark like DMX...ARF ARF!! Lol

3) So I was on Rolling Rd this morning and I saw this snow bunny...So I was like ooooh cute lil snow bunny.... lil biiiiiiitch!! But, then it happened. She ruined it...I saw that fog come up to her lips. I was like NOOOOOO She was cute too....Never played in the snow..But, that's a bulletin by itself...lol....anyways you ever see an attractive female...you tell ya pipe to look...I'm like, Wang St. James, peep shorty out over there by the bar!! He will look, takes him a minute, he only has one eye..lol...so if he agrees he will tell me to go put him on her ass...I will make a move but, soon as I see a fog hit her lips I'm like damn!! Wang St. James says damn too, because he was hoping to hit her lips also. Lol.
In the words of Big Tony "ewwww mommy eeewwww!!!"

4) For those curious as to why I have so many damn Rolling Rd stories....I live in Randallstown and I work in Hanover...So Liberty Rd to 695, to 70, to 29, to 100 is not what's good. Lol So I take Rolling Rd from Windsor Mill Rd aaaaaaalll the way down...across Rt. 40....dooooooown across Edmondson....paaaaaaast Wilkens Ave to 195...its like 10 miles shorter and its no real traffic. People who know me, know Scoobert does not do traffic!!! Lol.


5) Yes, this is very random....but you know how in movies parents catch their kids getting some face or pleasuring themselves. Lol...What would you do if you opened your kid's door and saw them getting it in with a stuffed animal? Lol. Would you ask where they learned about that? What if they say they saw Daddy doing that to Aunt Chrissy when you were in the hospital...or if they saw it in a magazine in the garage? Lol. Yea, don't judge me...lol

That is all.

11/18/08

1) Sup family? Thanks to everyone who wished my mother a happy birthday. That's some real shit.


2) Speaking of parents. I was on good ol' Rolling Rd this morning and I looked in the rearview while at the red-light. Son, this girl was probably about 11-12 yr. old and she was just talking. Hand motions and shit. All the while the driver, whom I assume was mom dukes, was looking off to the left, looking in her mirrors. Lol. Yo would shrug her shoulders, say a few words, and the girl would go back to 30 words a second. Lol. She could of been confessing how Ricky, how Johnny, how Bobby, and how Mike put their dicks in her mouth in the lockerroom when its time for gym class. Lol. Sure the parents of kids who turn into pornstars or those that shoot up schools rarely give their kids the necessary attention and convo. Talk to them little shits before they're on the news. Your dumb ass talking some ," I I I I never saw this coming!" No shit! Lol.


3) "If you liked it then you should of put a ring on it." Hmmmm let's break that down. "Liked" past tense. So I had it already? Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. That's all I'm saying. Make a nigga wait, miiiiight not see his ass, or really want to know what he does when he's not with you but, give it a shot. Let me know how that works out for you.
Lol

4) That one Alicia Keys song. The name escapes me right now. Teenage Love Affair? Anyway, there is a part when she's like "1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base...I think I need to go home." Now, that base shit isn't daddy's fortay but, I believe a homerun is sealing the deal. So, "3rd base" is some bra undone and a handjob? Fuck that! Lol. That's how rape charges come about. You awake the fire breathing dragon, you better be ready to tussle.
Lol

5) Speaking of charges. That guy who was stabbing his wife on North Ave the other night. He was tased theeeeen shot by an off-duty officer. Both the guy who was shot, and his wife are in the hospital. Now, my question is, you think they have them in the same room? Lol. Nurse comes in the room sees his ass crawling on the floor trying to get to her. I'm sorry.
Lol

6) My man Dino of G.F.C raised a great point in his status message. "Yall can keep that "swag" thing,I been on my FUNK shit forever..." He also said he wonders what will people be on when the new thing comes about. Here is my thing. The word "swagger" has been around for a minute!! But, someone makes a song talking about it and it spreads like germs on the stripper pole. I mention this because I heard some lame on a song and this fucker said,"..we can swag it out." Now, I thought "swagger" was a noun. A thing, a way you carry yourself. When did that shit become a verb? My parents to do that shit. Lol.
"Can I have some pizza? I will pizza your ass!" Like damn that's that new style of ass whipping! "cookie you"..."ice cream you" Ain't that a bitch! Lol


That is all.

11/17/08

1)Sup family?! If you are reading this you either had a shitty, uneventful weekend or you had a fun filled golly gee of a good time and made it home safely!! Either way happy to have ya here.
Lol

) I have never been involved in an orgy but, I'm curious if they have rules. I'm sure they're on that "bring your own rubbers" shit etc etc. But, what would you do if you were at one and the couple next to you were about to finish but, dude got some skeet on ya leg. Lol. Would he be chastised? Do you think the guy who got skeet on his leg would finish up? Lol. Talking about some, "ooooh hell no!! If he's still here after I drop this hot one it's on!!" Lol.


2) So "Single Ladies" was on the radio the other day.. The video is fire so when it comes on the radio I envision the video. Lol, hey don't judge me! Anyway, do you think if she put that song out 2yrs ago Jigga would of stuck around? Lol. And, I think he took her virginity. Anyone with me? She was getting groomed for stardom from when she was 12. So when would she of had time to get some pipe? Sure he's had enough snuzz to last 3 lifetimes "they used to call me ugly, now I cut up they buddies." I'm a believer. Lol. So why not wife her up? "got the hottest chick in the game wearing my chain.
" Lol

3) I'm sorry but, when I see people on the phone while I'm driving to/from work. I just think they are talking to the person they are cheating with. Lol. Getting that quality phone time in before they get to work or back in the house. Hey, fuck y'all. Lol That's just my interpretation of the situation.


4) Aight, the iPod was playing and a Wayne song came up. "Damn right I kissed my daddy.." Ok, I don't recall him saying "no homo" after the smooch. Now, you all know I'm against that non-sense but, wouldn't that be the ideal time to say it? "Feed me feed me no homo" Don't get it but, "Hmmm I'm on national television and I just kissed a man on the moouuuuf, maybe I should say no homo" Lol.


5) I keep seeing uniformed police officers in unmarked vehicles. Hmmm not catching anyone? I wonder why? Must be the officer's haircut, yes that's it.
Lol

6) Lol. You know the suitcases with the handle that comes out and it has wheels on it? I saw this guy on Rolling Rd the other day. Yo was pulling that shit like he had a 300lbs worth of shit in there. He looked defeated, mouth was open(should I say no homo? Lol) sweating like shit, the arm that wasn't pulling was swinging wild as shit. He was taking these little fast ass choppy steps.
Loooool Defeated!!

7) Speaking of those suitcases, does anyone remember when they made bookbags like that? I hated them shits. That's the laziest shit ever!! Whenever I would see someone in school w/ one I would give it a little kick. If you want to see someone in a state of disarray, do that shit next time you see someone w/ one. Lol. I suggest Baltimore Street around 2:15am. Lol.


That is all.

11/13/08

1) Sup family? Remember when I asked if the guy who has everything he touches turn to Skittles can lay pipe or not? Well say his wang doesn't have the Skittles touch, what if he touched a chick during the pipe install.
You think he would eat her? (if he didn't already *rimshot*)

2) For those not in "the know", a "rimshot" is that thing a drummer does when someone makes a corny ass joke. Eventhough I was being serious it just felt right.
You know baby it just felt right! Lol

3) Don't you hate when you are driving and you see someone with some type of advertisement for their sorority/fraternity on their car, you get up on the car and it looks they are a founding member and shit!! That shit always happens to me. Where are the new members? Shit...lol

4) Y'all ever have some refer something or place and they have never used it or been? Muthafucka talking about some, "Oh you should go there, it's the shit!" So you ask their ass about it and what do they say? "Oh naw my bestfriend goes there all the time." How in the hell you pump some shit up? Lol..Just as ignorant to "it" as I am...lol..

5) Remember the song "Mr. Telephone Man" by New Edition? * Side Note * That was my shit!! But, if you call someone who you think is your mate and someone of the same sex is telling you they aren't there..go ahead and cut ya losses. Lol. "She let the phone ring 20 times.." That's because someone was laying Le Pipe.
Lol

6) School buses in the morning!! If you have kids that ride the bus, please tell their asses to go straight to a seat. They can socialize later. They god damn driver can't pull off til they are in a seat, aka, making Uncle Scoob sit behind those flashing lights. Lol..SIT THE FUCK DOWN! Lol..Little bastards just strolling and waving.
No! Lol

7) What would you do if you were at someone's house about to have some "adult fun" and you went to use the bathroom. You lifted up the toilet seat and there was a turd floating, looking at you, telling you how nasty the person is. Lol. Sike naw, but would that kill your mood? Nigh are probably like, "long as I don't smell nuthin I'm cool, 'cause she's phat as shit!!" Lol Sisters over there like "eeeehhhhhh...he is packing though." I wonder how the person would act if the person just ran out the crib..lol..daaaaah

That is all.

11/12/08

1) Sup people? This might make absolutely no sense to most people. Mainly because I was firmly planted in the pot of NOT GOING TO DO IT TODAY. Lol....I had random shit pop in my head all day but, I didn't jot the shit down...lol..FAIL...that and when I was thinking of a way to explain it to the masses I would jump to another topic ...the time I got back to my post it note pad on my desk....yep...you guessed it....I forgot the original thought. Hey hey..don't judge me.


2) I heard a song on the radio coming home from work and it brought back memories of school dances back in middle school. I was thinking about how when you used to freak on chicks....the wood would present itself. Now, I knoooooooow I felt it, because it was mine, but did the chicks notice? Did that turn them off? Like oooh this nigga is nasty.....ooooor did it inspire them to grind a lil harder? Lol

3) How do you speed in your company car? Like advertisements of services...phone numbers and shit.....and you speeding? God damn...sooooomeone thought it would be a good idea to put all that shit on the side of the car....slow the fuck down...lol.....

4)Also please remember if advertisements or shit like that are on your vehicle....people aren't looking at you....they might be reading the shit on the side of the vehicle. Vain muthafuuuuuuuuuuuuu.....lol

5) Oh man....Lil Wayne's "Dedication 3" comes out his week...my boy works for DJ Drama....so when "Dedication 2" was about to come out we had it eaaaaaaaarly...like 2 months earlier..lol....that cd was fire...but I heard 3 tracks off it already....highly disappointed...put down the vo-coder....and the lean...please...lol...fuck that...I'm going to get a vo-coder and start singing. Oh, it's been done before you say....buuuut that hasn't stopped a good 300 other bastards from using it....so I'm going to smoke some piff...and sing comedic songs with the vo-coder on!!! yess!!!

6) If you got offended the other day by me saying "big biscuit eating buffalo back back water salmon bear claw catching women" Then perhaps you should join a pilates class, should stop being so sensitive, or should eat a dick. Lol Either one works fine for me. Daaaaaaah.
MUUUHAHAHAHA


That is all.

11/11/08

1) Hiiiiiyyyooo family. I heard an old Mary song on the radio this morning. Back from '92, reminded me when we had this car we called "the brown bomb" ... You heard it before you saw it! Lol So, my father would drop my sister and I off at school in the morning because we lived dumb far. But, when we got fairly close to the school he would crack the window and turn up V103. My man, lol, and he would drop off a nice little distance from the door because he knew the car was a P.O.S. Lol. Yes, I took a walk down memory lane and brought you with me.
Shut it up!! Lol

2) I know this may sound fucked up, but I could care less. I am tired of seeing these big biscuit eating buffalo back back water salmon bear claw catching women with small ass breasts! Lol. How you going to be 260lbs with some A cups? Lol. That's all I have to say about that.


3) I don't think some of you people are paying attention to shit these singers are saying. A Maxwell song came on the iPod today, and after he said something I realized I had heard a few other singers talk about it. Saying something along the lines of them seeing a female all the time, seeing them get mistreated, seeing them in their dreams at night. You call it sweet? I call that shit being a stalker. I seeeeee yoooouuuuuu *singing* It always feels like, somebody's watching me.


4)Speaking of songs and shit, I still do NOT know what the fuck Lil Wayne was talking about in T-Pain's song, "I can't believe it" I'm pretty sure his ass doesn't remember either, lol.


5) Someone asked me why I didn't like Destiny's Child. I told them song content. Off the jump you come at me about paying your god damn bills? Then if I call too much I'm a "bugaboo." But, if you get suspicious of me cheating you want me to say your name. Bitch! Lol.
I pay your phone bill I am calling whenever the fuck I want! Lol

6) I saved the best for last!! This was an actual bulletin from someone on my friends list. Lol. I did not tamper with it at all.
This is straight copy and paste!! Lmao

"looking for a good man for me and my kids if u think u are a good man hit me up if like to i have 2 kids that are bad ass shit so if u can do it hit me up"

That is all.