12/15/08

1)HO!! HO!! HO!! Chello slackers and overachievers. The inspiration for this edition came while at my sister's holiday party for her job. There were a good thousand or so people there. It was held at a hall out the fairgrounds.
So you know that shit was huuuuge!!

2) Oh damn, speaking of "huge", there was this woman who works with my sister who is like 6'3" easily. She had on some damn heels on too. But, she wasn't just tall she was wide. Lol. Like, she looked like a WNBA center. Lol. Just on the block snatching boards. ROOOOAAAAARRR!! Lol. So, apparently she is into the whole "stripper aerobics" thing. Now I heard it works and shit but, my concern is the POLE. Like what size pole does she use yo? How you get denied entrance because they don't have access to a firehouse pole. Lol. Another thing is apparently she speaks on it a lot. Like the convo could be about last night's game and her she comes with the, "Its funny you mentioned the game because at my STRIP-AEROBICS class I ..." Yea, she's that person that turns up the volume on the part she wants people to hear. Lol. She might wanna get a refund because the results are at a minimum, IF any.
Lol

3) What not to wear to a holiday office party was a key issue Saturday night. Now, from those who saw the pictures I had on a suit and my sister had on a nice dress. A lot of people had on suits and shit. Now, this is when shit gets iffy. Lol.
I saw chicks in there with dresses barely covering Le Cat and guys wearing jeans, construction boots and a regular shirt. This is a big ass company that's in w/ the Dept of Defense. Lol.
So, you have no slacks? Damn!! Lol

4) Speaking of just being wrong at an office party.
The event had an OPEN BAR!! Oh yea, so you know daddy took advantage of that shit, yet I was cool not to be that guy. But, to those that worked for the company they weren't being careful. I'm talking about friiiiieeeed!! My sister said "hi, how are you?" to this one woman and her first words were slurred and she said, "I've got a designated driver" I would ask my sister "Does that person work at your company?" She would say, "yes" and I could only shake my head. Lol. I'm like do they know they have to go to work on Monday? You know it's bad when you walk into work and people stop talking when you walk by. They point and whisper. Lol.


5) Speaking of pointing. I was doing a lot of pointing. Oooooh look at him!! Oooh look at her!! Daaaaamn. The three things that make for great entertainment at any function are 1)Alcohol 2)Music 3)White people. The party with no inhibitions They just let loose!! Funny that they know the words to any and every song. Lol. "..dancing off beat but, they know the words to my shit" was the theme all night. Speaking of "all night" I will say that I believe in a few months a few lady employees will be looking into that maternity leave because of the OPEN BAR and OYSTERS which were one of the hors d'oeuvres AKA "horse divers" Two bad ideas because we all know what alcohol does to people and oysters are an aphrodisiac.
Lol

6) If you are at a formal function. Dressed up in your "Sunday's finest" and there is a buffet style dinner please please please show some constraint and act like you have eaten before. Lol. This one heffer had a plate BEFORE she got up to where the plates were placed. My sister and I were like "How did she get that plate?" But, how about she had some strawberry flavored butter on her plate and she kept ranting and raving about it. Like, she might offer some face to get some more of that. "STRAWBERRY BUTTER?!? WHO DO I HAVE TO BOP OFF FOR SOME MORE?!" scratching and shit. Lol.
Leave that shit alone!!