12/16/08

1) BIRDWALK!! BIRDWALK!! WATCH ME DOOOOO!!! Lol. What's good family? WATCH ME DOOOOO!! Lol. Songs these days I tell ya. I will say that, that the beat to that song is hot. Other than that, ummm errr aaahh yea? Lol. Yo, anyone remember Billy Ocean? Lol. "Get out of my dreams, and into my car. Get in the backseat baby." Whenever I would hear that shit, I would be like, "If he likes her so much why does he want her in the backseat? She should ride in the front." Little did I know of methods of procreation or just pure adult fun. Remix: Watch me dooooooooooo//get in the backseat baaaaa--bbbbyyyy" Lol

2) For those that know me like that, know that COPS is my favorite show of all time. As much as I loved "MARTIN" and "THE CHAPELLE SHOW", nothing is as funny as COPS. For instance, the other night they had some oooooooold ass episodes on. Cops were carrying revolvers and shit. Lol. Anyway, this woman got her ass beat by her boyfriend and called the boys. Straight up trailer trash, double wide, and shit. So, he's inside and the cops go in just to speak to him so they could get his side of the story. He kirked the fuck out. It took 3 cops to wrestle his ass down. The whole time, she is in the background like "Stop baby, don't fight them baby. Don't hurt him!! Leave him alone!! Don't fight them baby." Just flip flopping and shit. So,
they get his ass in the car finally. So one cop starts telling her where they are taking him and shit. So, she was like, "Did you have to beat him up like that?!" If you could of saw his face!! His mouth dropped and this is exactly what he said, "W--W-W-What?!? We weren't gonna let him hit on us like he hit on you!" This dumb bitch runs up to the car window like "Do you want me to get you out baby?" He was like, "NO PAY THE RENT!!" Lmaoooooo

3) Paying the rent. Mailing letters. Since it is Christmas time and shit. There are a shitload of kids sending letters to the NORTH POLE courtesy of SANTA CLAUS, right. So, what do they do with all the letters? Do they get recycled? Burned up? Opened up and laughed upon. "Dear Santa, My name is Johnny and all the kids tease me in gym class. If you could bring me some Lebron's I could run really really really really fast and jump way way way way way higher than all the others. So please bring them to me. Love Johnny"....Perhaps Johnny needs to stop eating Twinkies all day and he won't have those troubles. Daaaaaaah

4) Troubles? Let me ask you all something. Do you remember when you got potty trained? I'm pretty sure all of you said, "NO" due to the fact it was sooooooo long ago. So that means you know when your ass has to go to the bathroom whether it's a 1 or a 2. I say that to say this, there is a man at my job. Dude walks slow as fuck. Like he is only 50 or so but moves like he is 75. Lol. He moves slow except when he has to goooooooooo numero dos. This dude will go flying by you. Stall door gets slammed, you hear a belt buckle, and then what sounds like a single engine airplane trying to take off. BRRRNNN BRRRNNN BRRRNNNN. LIke, I mean doesn't even sound like homes has a chance to sit down. Lol Now if you walk slow as shit....why would you wait until the last minute to go handle business. You clean up before you company gets there, not when they knock on the door. Lol. That's all I'm saying.

5) For those that read my HOLIDAY EDITION of "A FEW THINGS..." noticed about when I spoke on the white people on the dance floor. Now, as I was out there cutting a rug with the pale riders, I got to thinking. You know how we look at them like "Daaaaaaamn they have noooo rhythm at all" What the fuck are they listening too??!?!" Do you think they look at us thinking the same thing? Lol. "Dude, what is that guy doing? Doesn't he hear that awesome guitar riff? He must be tone def!! And look at that chick, she's got a big ass and she is just moving it all around. Let's go take some shots!!" Lol. Just wondering. Daaaaah




That is all.