12/9/08

1) Hiiiiyyooo taxpayers, church goers, bootleggers, backsliders, virgins, smuts, and all around do gooders. I wonder who made that term up. "Do gooder" Lol. Someone who got flustered by a person who was shitting on them. Lol. "Well you obviously don't know what you're doing Tom, and my way is better." "Ok, well fine, go ahead and do it your way you you you do gooder!!" "What did you call me, Tom?" "Yea,you heard me!! Damn do gooder!!" Someone caught their exchange and it was born. Everything goes my way in my little world. Lol.


2) You have heard of people "spontaneously combusting" right? I was thinking about that yesterday and before it jumps off you think they start sweating a lot or some shit? Lol.
If so where are their friends when shit goes down? Just strolling down the street and ya friend looks like they are shitting on themselves then B A N G flames!! I heard its not actual flames because it's inside your body. But, still that's some wild shit. If someone in a wheelchair caught on fire, provided you had a wang would you piss on them to try and put them out? Not so sure that "stop drop, and roll" shit would work. Especially if you get literal with it. Lol. I'm sorry.


3) This recession is a monster yo!! I knooooooow y'all heard about Fantasia and her crib being foreclosed. Actually, I heard its her "main" house. The $1.3 million house NOT the $740,000 house. Wheeeeew what a relief. How you have 2 houses in the same city? Can I get you saying, "I'll be back next week, I'm going to my house down in ______." No sir, yo said, "I will be back tomorrow I'm going to my house across town." *sigh* my people my people!! Lol.


4) Oh shit!! Speaking of recession. Lmao. Pleaaaaaaaaase tell me y'all heard about the Governor of Illinois?!?! Well, since Brother Obama won't be fulfilling his job as Senator of Illinois, with good reason of course, but I digress, thiiiiiis Muthafucka was attempting to sell the seat. Like, "Psst. Psst hey son. Psst. I got that other seat. What's good? Give me $1 million and I can nominate you!!" Lol. So he gets knocked and the Lt. Governor can't take over!! Why, you ask. Because they're in jail for some other shit!! Lol.
God damn!

5) Have you and/or ya co-workers ever made up a nickname for another co-worker and damn near called them it? Lol. Shit happened to me the other day. Remember dude I told y'all about who wanted to ship an order to Korea FedEx GROUND? Lol.
Well we call him "sauceman" because he is always lost in the sauce. Like I mean state certified stupid. He should be in a special building that takes trips to Chuck E. Cheese, Wal-Mart, or the zoo. You know somewhere like that. I am beyond confused how he got a job but yea, I needed something real quick and I was like "Hey sauceman!!", daaaaaaaaaaaam. Lol. I made up a song real quick. That's how I know his ass is dumb as fuck. We say "sauceman" all day amongst each other, yet he stays where he is, smiling and talking to himself or "thinking outloud" as he calls it.


That is all.