12/29/08

1) HAPPY KWANZAA,MOTHAFUCKAS!! Sike naw but, yea it has been a minute. Did y'all miss me? Because if not I will stop doing this shit if...................I'm sorry I told myself I wasn't going to cry. Had to gather myself.
Lol

2) Gathering one's self. I ask this question. Lol. Say you were at a member of the opposite sex's house and you had to use the bathroom.
You get in there then BANG all of sudden you realize you have The Hershey Squirts!! DUN DUN DUUUUN!! No problem you say but, as you get your squirt on you look over and realize. They're out of toilet paper!! DUN DUN DUUUUN!! What would you do? Lol.
Wipe your ass with your drawers then run to your car real quick to throw them away? What if you got picked up? DUN DUN DUUUUN!!

3) Remember when I told y'all that I saw a Korean BBQ on Rolling Rd? I still don't remember ever noticing it but, I know this is fucked up. Lol. There is a karate dojo attached to the restaurant. Lol. I know karate is of Japanese origin but, what would you do if you left your karate class one night, headed over to the Korean BBQ for some dim sum and your instructor is your waiter? Lol. Do you tip extra heavy in fear he might bust your ass next class? Lol.
Go hard, no tip!!

4) Oooh shit!! I forgot to tell y'all what happened Saturday night. Lol. It was at the 7-11 right next to the Korean BBQ. We were chilling at my boy's house drinking and what not. My boys planned on doing some late night gardening, so we went to get some snacks along with their necessary gardening needs. I'm in the back grabbing shit I intend to buy and what I wanted to get with my 5 finger discount. Meanwhile, my boy is at the counter ordering his gardening tools. So the cashier was an African man who got offended as to how my boy ordered. Imagine Eddie Murphy's voice in Coming to America or just any person you know that is African with an accent. Lol. "What did you say? You said 'swisher sweets, my nigga' I am not your nigga. I do not have to take that get the fuck out of my store." So my boy was like "So my money isn't good here fam? Come on my nigga just give me the swishers and stop acting like a bitch. Stupid mothafucka, stop bullshitting and give me the shit, bitch." The clerk was still on his high horse talking some, "I am not your nigga, I do not have to take this!! Get the fuck out of my store!" So, my boy has a violent past so I'm thinking to myself like damn he's gonna pop the clerk. Lol. My boy was like, "Man you work at fucking 7-11, you don't own this shit. I called you all types of bitches and mothafuckers and you are mad about 'my nigga', come on, and give me the damn swishers!! Next thing I heard was, "Grape?" Lol.
SOLD!!

5) Speaking of Africans(with accents) had to throw that out there before some people get salty with me. Did I ever tell y'all about the guy in Subway? Lol. I was getting my normal $5 footlong tuna. I was about to pay when this guy walks up and right after they guy asked how he could help him. The African man puts his hands on his hips in a superhero pose and says, "The $5 dollar sandwich, where is it?!" So the "sandwich artist" started explaining which sandwiches he could get that were $5. So after the spew the customer goes back to his superhero stance and said very slowly,"Ok, I want one!" I couldn't hold it anymore, I had just paid and I flew out the door laughing. Lol. I might have to record myself saying it so y'all can grasp it. Lol.